best beliefs

I used to believe that the world map only took up half the globe and that there were even more countries on the other side

I used to think you had to be an adult to drink household chemicals

I used to believe…

As a kid, I thought that soap operas were shows that involved people singing in the shower while washing their bodies with soap.

I used to believe that a funeral organist was the person who collected the body parts of the dead

I used to think that "explosive diarrhea" was when you pooped actual explosives, like nitroglycerin or whatever.

I used to think that if you were scared "half to death" that you only had one scare left before you died.

I used to think gravy was made in graveyards.

I thought the tip jar at the restaurant was so people could give the chef cooking tips for how to cook better.

I thought you could get toffee from mixing tea and coffee.

I used to believe there were numbers called "onety" and 'twoty." I thought "twoty-nine" came before twenty.

I used to believe…

When I was a kid I always thought the lunch lady had had brain surgery. I could only see the line of her hair net and assumed it was a scar.

I used to believe…

When I was little I thought birds were having important meetings when they sat together on the telephone wires.

I thought that 911 was the number you called for fire/emergency because that was the temperature fire burned at (i.e 911 degrees farenheit)

I thought it was illegal for women to use Just For Men hair coloring

I thought if someone asked something and said please you had no choice but to do it (I think my dad told me this once when I wouldn't do something)

I thought seeing red meant you if you were really mad your vision literally got a red tint to it. I figured I had just never got mad enough for it to happen

I thought a contract killer was someone who kills people who break a contract

I used to believe that I could take a bath and talk into the water spout and anyone else taking a bath could hear me.

I used to believe…

When my baby sister was first born (and I was 4), my older sister convinced me that she was an alein because she had an "out-ie" belly button

I used to believe that if someone hit you on your back when you're eyes were wide open your eyes would pop out of their sockets.