i used to believe

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around the house

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I used to believe that objects could breathe. I would open all the drawers in the house so that the things in the drawers could breathe properly.

Anon
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I thought everything had feelings, furniture, bugs, pens, you name it. Getting ice was the worst. When I took ice out of the ice tray, I would try and leave a few cubes near each other so they wouldn't get lonely. Later I started thinking what if the ice cubes I left near each other didm't get along, so I had to debate each time whether it was better to risk an ice cube being lonely or it having to put up with unfriendly cubes.

sampa
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when i was a kid i musta been like 4 or 5. my parents grounded me and it was the first time ever. i told my friends thru the screen door i'd never seem them again cause i was grounded. i thought my parents were gonna bury me in the back yard up to my head for a week.

clonsect
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I thought Napoleon invented linoleum.

Steve Murphy
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when I was about 6 or 7 yrs old I used to believe a little penguin lived in my refrigerator and his job was to turn the interior light on and off. I would sit and open the fridge repeatedly trying to catch him in the act. Boy, what a dork I was.

Bee
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I really did believe that you would go to jail if you removed the tag from the mattress because my father told me so! So I carefully destroyed the evidence when I accidently pulled the tag off. The name below has been changed to protect the guilty.

Carolyn G
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I used to believe that the fluorescent light in the kitchen couldn't just be turned on with a switch. You also had to blow on it. You had to blow pretty hard (by then of course the light would finally come on). I was about 3 and had to jump pretty high to make it work.

joy
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In order to get out of doing dishes I told my brother that I had secretly been keeping a record of who had done dishes and when, and that he was sorely behind. I got away with not doing dishes for two weeks before he decides he wanted to see the "secret record."

Samantha
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When I was little, I always believed I was safe from the big bad wolf because I lived in a brick house.

Beth
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I dug a hole in my backyard as a kid and found some shards of old broken dishware. I honestly believed that this is what people meant when they spoke of "digging a hole to China" and assumed I had done so.

Jeff Carino
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When we were young, my brother and I beleived that the vacuum cleaner must get terribly thirsty because of all the dust it picked up. We sucked up a pint of coke to quench it's thirst. Our mum wasn't impressed next time she tried to clean...

Lau
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when i was younger i was scared of a bust statue of mozart that we had in our living room. i always thought that it was watching me. i would turn it around so that it wasnt looking at me. my sister knew it bothered me so she would turn it back around when i wasnt looking. that really freaked me out! (thanks heather)

andy
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In my grandfathers house, there was a room at the back down a dark hall which was always locked because it had his record colllection in it, but i thought it was full of skeletons and my sister said it was full of monkeys

J.
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when I was little (about 3 or so) my brother and sister (6 and 7 years older) convinced me that the sound coming from under the kitchen sink was actually a giant pig that ate our left overs when mom was doing dishes. they also convinced me that if I put my hand down the drain (being the animal lover and wanting to pet the pig) that it would suck my arm down chewing it right up to my shoulder. I still remember opening the cabinet under the sink and looking for that pig, but being scared enough to drag the dog with me just in case it jumped out and tried to eat me. I guess I thought our little pomeranian would scare such a mean pig.

TxCherub113
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I used to think our cardboard stand-up of Steve Martin talked to me through our vacuum cleaner. It sure didn't help that my dad hid behind him and spoke into the cleaner hose...

Rat
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Whenever I left the refridgerator door open, my parents would say, "The penguins are coming," meaning that they were attracted to all of the cold air I was letting into the house. I thought they meant that penguins tried to escape from the Artic through refridgerator doors. I was terrified.

Dogbreath
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When I was little, I used to think that our house was haunted, so every time I had to go to the loo in the night, I would drape a blanket over my head and shuffle toward the bathroom "ooh-ing" softly, so that any passing ghosts would think I was one of them. A cunning disguise, I think you'll agree.

K-Matic
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During the summer, when I was around 5 years old, I would lay on the floor and listen into the air conditioning vent. I thought that all the air conditioning vents in the world were all connected together underground. I would yell into the air conditioning duct hoping that some other kid had figured it out too and we could talk to each other.

Christopher
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Whenever stuff got moved at our house, or lost, my Mom would say "George did it". When I was about 3 I met a friend of my grandparents who was named George, and launched into a little tirade at him about not coming to our house and taking/moving things anymore... But it worked, nothing that got lost at my house was ever blamed on George again.

Leida
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I used to believe wall-to-wall carpeting meant the walls were carpeted too. I was so disappointed when we first had our house wall-to-wall carpeted and the walls looked exactly the same.

Anon
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