being ill

My Mom had a car accident soon after I was born and had to have surgery on her knee because of it. Somehow, I got it into my head that there were still tiny doctors living inside her knee, working on it.

Jeremy

my grandmother would tell me that if i exercised after eating(specifically, if i jumped up and down), food i ate would go into my appendix and i would get appendicitis. i would visualize this happening, and even thought it could happen if i slept on my side. so for years i refused to sleep on my right side, and usually slept on my back

Priscilla

I thought a heart attack was when you got attacked by your brother or sister. So I'd say she's a heart attacking me!!!

TImmy

My sister and I both had minor surgery as infants -- she had a hernia and I had a cyst removed from my neck. I used to believe that they cut my head off, took out the cyst then sewed my head back on...

Not only that -- I also used to believe that EVERY kid had an operation when they were a baby. When I was 4 I was at my grandmother's for the summer. The first day I met another little girl and in an effort to get to know her asked her what kind of operation she had when she was little. I was dumbfounded when she said she hadn't had any! I went back to my grandma's house and she explained the truth to me. I bet that little girl's mother was surprised when her little girl asked her about operations!

Wendy

My 5 year old had a fever. I told her that I would get some ASPIRIN for her. She told me she didn't need ASPIRIN because her butt didn't hurt.

Cameron

i remember being told when i was about 4 that my mother had caught chicken pox from me when i was a baby. not knowing what that was, i imagined those plastic pots u have in the garden growing all over you and then green and red chickens would pop out of them every now and then

pot chicken

When I was in 3rd grade I went to catholic school and we wore lovely plaid jumper uniforms. I had to wear it one evening for a Christmas program, so I thought I'd just wear it to bed so I didn't have to get dressed for school the next day. My mother told me that if I did it I would get sick, but I did it. I woke up the next morning with the mumps! I still have a hard time wearing any kind of street clothes to bed...thanks mom.

A.M. - age 39

I was a bit of a nervous child. I used to worry that I was having a heart attack. My solution was to go outside and run around the house three times, snow or shine. You couldn't possibly run around the house if you were having a heart attack.

Anon

After overhearing my mother and my aunt discuss my cousin's Chicken Pox infection, I thought that it was called "Chicken Pops" and it was a special meal that you got when you were 6.

Anon

When I was really little I found out my dad was bipolar and I imediatly thought "polar = cold" (my dad LOVES the cold) and so I went around saying "My dad is bipolar" and if they asked what it was I'de say "It means he likes the cold and they named asickness after it!"

Brrrrrr!

While while staying at my grandparents house, I used to be allowed to eat a ton of candy with the usual caveat that too much would "give you a tummyache". Once when I was 5 or 6, coincidentially I'm sure, I got a horrible tummyache at their house and ended up projectile vomiting repeatedly. After that I was terrified to eat any candy especially at their house for fear my tummyache would return.

wendy

I used to think that when I had a headache there was a fat purple angry walrus in my head sitting at a desk throwing papers around.

Tracey

When I was quite young, a neighbor convinced me that a "hernia" was when a boy's penis got tied in a knot. She being particularly cruel had done this to her brother.

Imagine my horror when I found out my father had a hernia!

Sony full of Bologna

I used to believe that cramps were called crabs because that's how I heard it. So if I would be running and got a cramp, I would say "Ouch. I have crabs! They're pinching me!"

Carl

When I was 5 I used to believe that when someone got chicken pox they developed a bump that later sprouted a chicken feather. I was terrified of getting the chicken pox, which at the time was going around my school.

Kristi

Before I learned that pneumonia had a silent "p", I used to believe it was actually two sicknesses: there was neumonia, which was what you got if bronchitis got worse, and then if that got even worse, you ended up with PENumonia.

Miriam

I believed that Ping Pong Balls was a venerial disease you got from Chinese people

madeeum