weeing and pooing

when I was younger, my cousin made me believe that if you sat on the toilet too long, your intestines would fall out.

vairelee

When i was around three i used to believe that all boys wee'd out of their thumb (the only male i had known being my dad) so therefore stood over the toilet and tried to wee out of my thumb and began to cry when nothing happened. Traumatised for life......

Wervs

I used to believe that girls pee through their, well, anuses, because they always sit or crouch when they pee and poo, so i thought it's kinda the same.

Anon

my friend, she's african american, she believed that since your poo was brown that white people's poo was white

Anon

when i was about 6 i used to think there was an army of poops inside me, and that the leader would be telling them to jump out my behind.. even as a very logic-driven kid, i never wondered why they never ran out.

chibi t

when I was kid, I once got the idea that anything called a "poison" was inevitably fatal if you ate or drank it, no matter how small the amount you had consumed. And I thought furthermore that any poison would make you die exactly three days after you ate or drank it. Then one time my mother told me that you need to poop every day, because poop is poison and you need to get it out of your system. So I was terrified the first time after that when I went a day without pooping. I was sure that I would die three days later. So on the third day after that day I didn't poop, I was secretly preparing to lay me down to die. It didn't seem to matter that I HAD pooped on the two days in between.

Tabitha

i use to believe that when i wee the angels took it to heaven.

craig

My step-father used to tell me that if I swallowed my gum when I tried to go to the bathroom a big bubble would come out and I would get stuck in the toilet and he wasn't going to help me and I'd be stuck there forever.

Fran

I used to think that if you held a turd in for more than an hour it would give you bad breath

phil

As a grownup, I've seen Fleet Babylax, which seems vaguely similar to what my mother must have used on me in one of my earliest childhood memories. I know she was squeezing something into my rectum and it felt really freaky. I asked her what it was for and she said in a reluctant and put-out tone, "It's to make you doodoo." I was incredulous because I'd been well indoctrinated at the time into a view that doodoo was nasty and a naughty subject that one didn't mention if possible. I'd never yet imagined that doodooing was'nt something one could be fine without dooing for however long one didn't get the urge to, and be all the more sweet, pure and well-behaved for avoiding for that matter. I'd yet to get any inkling that expelling feces might be a necessary and healthful thing. So in my incredulity I asked my mother again what it was for. She just waxed more cranky and pissed as she repeated,
"IT'S TO MAKE YOU DOODOO!" Gee, for whatever I might have thought of my mother most of the time back then, that day I thought she was really being some kind of cruel monster for trying, just for the fun of it, to make me be naughty and doodoo when I wasn't feeling the least inclination to do so.

constipated Courtney

As a child (under four years old or so) I was slow to become potty trained. I was faring fine with number one, but as for poo-poo, I was still doing that in my pants at an age my mother thought was much too old to still not be "housebroken" as she often called it. Maybe she didn't really intend to compare me to a dog; she did have a habit of getting terms confused sometimes. Like one time I heard her refer to the transmission on her car as the "intermission". I pointed it out to her. She got real pissed and vehemehtly denied saaying "intermission" for transmission. Anyhow, back to the main story. To scare me into getting "housebroken", she made up story (at least I guess it was original with her) that, once I was five years old or more, any turds I did in my pants would turn into rattlesnakes and bite me. It must have worked, because I don't much remember shitting in my pants after that. But there was this one incident. By the fourth grade, my mom had me walking home from school every day. It was a bit over a mile. Then it happened. One day about halfway home, I had an urgent shit suddenly come on, that there seemed no way I could hold in until I got home. But I tried with all my might, terrified of the rattlesnake it could turn into. But then, some came out in my pants for all I could do. Desperate, I ran behind a bush in a stranger's yard, dropped my pants and dumped that turd like a hot potato, much relieved to see that it hadn't become a rattlesnake yet. But just as I started to pull up my pants up, I clearly felt more coming. What was I to do? I stayed there behind that push and doodooed the rest of my load there. Better than venomous fangs in my bottom! Afterwards I bolted for home in a hurry without wiping. Walking the rest of the way made my butt sore. It stayed that way for what seemed days (probably an exaggeration). But I didn't mind too much! Better a sore anus than a rattlesnake bite!

Dorothy

When I was a kid, I somehow became quite convinced that only children poop, and that I wouldn't do it anymore when I grew up. Now I'm a grownup, still pooping and trying to learn to love it!

Vanessa

When I was 5 or so, one of my friends (who was a guy) told me that anyone and everyone can stand up to pee... But girls just didn't because they were lazy... I got very angry at this "label" girls got... So the next time I peed, I did it standing up...and well.. didn't exactly get the pee into the toilet, instead, I peed all over the floor

A young girl trying to be a boy

When I was a kid, I was taught that pooping was naughty. So whenever I was taken to the doctor and thay'd take my temperature with a thermometer in my rectum, I thought they were trying to plug up the hole to stop me from pooping!

Regina

I had no contact with males until I went to school. I was very confused as to why I stood to urinate and sat to defecate, when women sat for both.

Not until I went to school did I know that I wasn't the only boy in the world to sit on the toilet.

Ever-Learning Male

When I was about three, I simply refused to wear my diaper. My mom used to tell me that if I didn't wear a diaper, a huge fly would come and fly up my butt. To this day, I am deftly afraid of flying things, especially flies!

Teresa