weeing and pooing

When I was about 5 or 6 I used to believe that if you crapped in your underpants, a small brown woodlouse would appear on the carpet in front of you and get you in trouble.........DON`T ASK

Mauritian@Plaistow

When I was little I thought that food stayed in your digestive system for months, so every time you did number two you were looking at food reamins that had been rotting for a considerable time. I never seemed to notice the connection between the corn for dinner/corn in the stool connection.

Lori

When i was about 7,my half-brothers sister(brook)and i wereplaying around on the porch when i saw a dog terd. i told her it was a tootsie roll. she picked it up and started to put it in her mouth and eat it. Her mom caught her just in time, and i didnt get into trouble. i dont think brook ate tootsie rolls 4 a while!

brittany

that poop was chocolate and you could eat it

chocolate lover

my mom told me if you dont flush the toilet when you tinkle or pooink your bum would hurt bad until you flush it...

poliospopoised

I used t believe that my poop was a little family living insie my butt and they would push their children out of my butthole. I called them the Poo Poo People

Poo Poo Person

I used to believe that if you drank a lot of anything, and then you had to go t the bathroom, you could just eat bread or something that was absorbent, and then you wouldn't have to go cuz it would absorb "stuff" and you'd be all good

blonde..

When I was at infant school, my next door neighbour used to look after me in the morning when my mum and dad went to work. One day she asked me if I wanted to spend a penny before I went to school, I thought this meant that we were going to the shops to get some sweets and was very excited, you can imagine my disappointment when she told me what it really meant.

Sarah

I used to believe, when I was very young, that as women had no penises, women had no private parts altogether. How did they use the toilet, you say? Easy: they peed through the anus.

This belief was revoked when I discussed the matter with my brother, who cracked up laughing saying, "Imagine how disgusting it would be trying to pee and crap at the same time!"

Adam

I used to beleive that there was an alligator opening and closing my butthole so i could poop. The door was an oldfashioned drawbridge door. I always felt bad for the alligator because he had to step over my poop to open the door. Also i thought that wen i pooped my pants (since it was still maybe or three and it happened sometimes) that i kept the alligator waited too long so hejust opened the door because he was getting smooshed by the poop. The alligators name was Al.

Anonymous

When my little sister was just potty trained, she thought that when she pooed her insides were coming out. For about a month she would cry whenever she had to do it. Finally, my mom told her what it really was.

Faerygirl

It was actually not until I was pretty well grown up that I first encountered the phrase "to take a dump" meaning to poop. For a while I didn't know what was meant. I thought the phrase would mean like falling out of one's chair, or falling off a bicycle or a sled, etc. I finally was corrected in a moment when I was made to feel stupid when the phrase was used and I responded as if it meant someone had fallen onto the floor. Since then I've tried to make a joke of this whole awkward learning experience. Like once recently at a Christmas exhibition, I sat down at the eating area and found I was sitting in a very rickety chair. On inspection I found the chair seemed to be about to fall apart. So I hung a sign on it reading, "Caution. Chair broken. Sitting not recommended. You might take a dump." I hoped someone might find it riotously funny, but I never observed any consequences.

Pam

When i was about three, i remember catching a brief glimpse of my brother naked. I could swear that i saw two penis'. So i used to believe that he had one for peeing and one for pooing. I was so stupid -_-;;

Mikkailah

When I was young, if I ever had a mouthful of food when the need to poo arose, I feared that sitting on the toilet would cause the food to immediately change to poo. Food always felt mushier when sitting on porcelain.

Blackdog

i used to believe that poop was eggs and i would try to lay them like a chicken in the toilet but i would get scared they would die

Anon

I used to believe that girls pee was in their poop, because they have no penis.

s

I was about 7 and one day I had to pee really bad and I was outside in the pool..thurrs no houses behind mi house so i just went around and swatted and took my pee...my dad went inside to get me some tissues...then a few minutes later my dad had to pee so he went around tha corner and took a pee...when he came bak i asked if he wanted me to go get him tissues to wipe...my parents still tease me to this day because I didnt no all about body parts yet...hahaha

hahaha

When I was a kid, I heard the 1960s song "Vacation" by Connie Francis. It says at one point, "We're gonna mashed potato to a jukebox tune". I thought it didn't exactly sound like she was literally refering to mashed potatoes. I asked my big brother what it meant. He told me that "to mashed potato" was a euphemistic reference to pooping. So for years I actually thought that Connie Francis sang a song about pooping, which she wouldn't do, nor would any other 60s singer. It would probably be at least two decades before such a thing would become a thinkable subject of a popular song. By the way, would a jukebox tune help one poop? I often envisioned myself needing to poop where a jukebox was playing. I've thought of some tunes that might make it easier for me to go poo in such a public place and others that probably wouldn't.

Malinda