weeing and pooing

Before the age of six, I thought that pooping had absolutely nothing to do with your digestive system or eating and that it was just this pointless thing your body did. Boy was I surprised when I saw that episode of the Magic School Bus!

JS

I used to think until I was 7 that boys had to hold their penises to piss. I thought they had to squeeze it to pee, like a water balloon. I didn't think it was physically possible for them to wet the bed!

Anon

When I was potty training, my mom put my doll in a bowl next to my potty chair. Once, there was "pee" in her bowl/potty chair. I had believed that she had gone potty for a really long time until I was old enough to figure it out on my own what had happend that day.

Kellie

My older sister (by nine years, she should've known better!) told me when I was 4 that if you weed and pooped at the same time you would die. I would be on the toilet bawling my eyes out everytime it happened.

Anon

When I had just started going to school I thought that if someone forgot to flush the toilet at school, the teachers would take a sample of the pee and make the older kids process it for DNA in the chemistry labs. Then they would report you to the headmaster, who in turn would report you to the (fictional) Criminal Failures in Hygiene Department. The CFHD would then ship you off to a sterile facility with other such offenders until you had perfect hygiene and manners! I was a paranoid but clean child...

K

I remember as a kid watching TV with my mom and an ad for Depends came on. I asked what they were exactly and she said they were like diapers for adults. At the time I didn't know that incontinence was a thing, so I figured some people just never got potty trained and had to wear diapers their whole life.

m'phthchshthsch

I had never heard of a female taking a dump (I guess it wasn't lady-like to make it obvious in the 70's) so I thought girls didn't take craps....imagine my shock when I discovered a "floater" after my female next door neighbor forgot to flush...girls never seemed so nice since those days when I was six.

Edwin from the Bronx

When we were young we lived near the airport in the landing path for the planes. My granfather told us not to look up with our mouth open because someone might flush the toilet and it would get in our mouth.

L.Williams

When I was in the first grade, I believed it was against the rules to poo at school. Any time I felt the urge to do so, I would go to the school office and tell them I was sick and needed to go home. My mother eventually took me to see our doctor.

Fifty years later, I still will not poo anywhere but home.

Anon

I used to believe that if a person had a tapeworm, they could squat over a pot of boiling cabbage and it would come out of them. I don't know why...

Spooky

As a young man I believed that people's buttocks were stored feces. I thought people with large butts were infrequent poopers and people with skinny butss pooed daily.

I made a concerted effort to keep track of my on personal bowel movements for fear that I would forget and get a big butt.

Mark

When I was little I believed that if you tried pooping too hard you would poop out all of your insides so every time I went to the bathroom I would always try to go "softly"

Emily

I used to take my gum out of my mouth before I went to the bathroom because I thought it might get sucked down and out somehow.

Anon

I use to think that if you ate your poop it would change colour each time it passed through you, so first time it is brown and then you eat it and it will come out red, then you eat it again and it becomes orange and all like that through the colours of the rainbow. I never did try to prove this theory.

Cat

My husband actually believed that a woman pees through her vagina. I told him the reality when he was 27. I think that he thinks I'm joking.

Helen (UK)

in my beautiful naive state, i believed getting an erection meant that i was full of pee and needed to go to the bathroom. i was somehow surprised at the difficulty to aim and produce...

slippy

I used to have to strip completely into the nude as a child in order to go #2. I somehow believed that the poo would climb up and get smeared all over my back, so naturally I had to remove any and all articles of clothing in order to prevent any poo stains.

Anon

When I was potty training, I used to be scared to make number 2. Well, once I got tired, and got up, and walked around the bathroom, and a..thing(you know what it is) fell on the floor. I was terrified! I got as far away as I could, hid in a corner, and started screaming like my life depended on it, as if the thing was gonna kill me. I think that was the first time I saw poop. Sorry for such a disgusting, yet true, story.

Holy crap

When I was small ( about 3 ) I accidentally walked in on my dad in the bathroom. Than, I went to my mom to ask her a question, "Mommy, when guys toot, does it come out of their peanut?" She explained it to me years later, and never lets me forget it xD

connie

I was just a little confused when I was about six years old. I was having trouble "poo-ing," and after trying for what seemed like forever I ran to the living room where I cried "Mom, I'm COMPLICATED!" When she had figured out what I was talking about (and the laughter subsided) she explained to me that the words was constipated.. not complicated.

I was a goofy kid!!