weeing and pooing

When we used to visit my uncles house and we wanted to go to the toilet he told us that we had to give him 5 pence to work the lights, otherwise we couldn't go.
I thought that his house always cost so much

n

When I was a little kid I thought celebrities never had to go to the bathroom. Maybe it was just because they never had toilets or mentioned bodily functions on TV.

Anon

When I was little (2-3) I used to love baths so much, I didn't want to get out to go to the bathroom. So one day I had to poo really bad, so i just did. I didn't notice it at all until it somehow wound up in FRONT of me and was floating towards me. Horrified, I screamed and jumped out of the tub yelling "A BUG! A BUG! ITS GOING TO EAT MEEEE!" To this day I still hate taking bathes.

kayla

When I was about three, I simply refused to wear my diaper. My mom used to tell me that if I didn't wear a diaper, a huge fly would come and fly up my butt. To this day, I am deftly afraid of flying things, especially flies!

Teresa

Up until 1st grade, I used to think that when you pooped a baby would come out, and so I would look into the toilet and apologize to the baby and coo over it that it had to die so soon.

Brook

When I was 6 I thought the reason my poop was brown was because I had brown skin. It seemed logical since the dalmation down the street pooped white.

Jeremy Cionca

When I was little my half-sister told me that your body had all your poo stored inside in "poo bags", and that when your body needed to poo one was released. For years I was convinced that I was full of poo.

CS

My cousin Tiffany is a good bit younger than I. As a very young child she learned the word Mildew, but was confused about its meaning. One time, while she still needed help with going to the potty, she said "I'm about to mildew in my pants!" On helping her to the potty I found that she was using "mildew" to mean "poopoo" or "doodoo".

Lauren

When I was a child I believed everything my older sisters told me. I asked what constipated was and my sister told me it was when you couldn't poop and it got all backed up in your body and came out your mouth. I was PETRIFIED I would one day become constipated!

Karen F

I used to believe that a boy's balls and penis was for holding his pee. When his balls were full the pee filled his penis and made it big. I thought that because my brothers was big in the morning, when he woke up, but after he went to the bathroom it was small again

Jean

When I was about 8 and my sister was 7, my dad was playing The Sims. All of a sudden, his male character went into the bathroom and stood in front of the toilet. my sister asked "How come he's standing up?" and my dad said "sometimes men stand up when they go to the bathroom." we were both trying to figure out how men decided when to stand up and when to sit down, as if it was a preference.

MissMorales

My cousin told me that if you peed in a swimming pool the lifeguard would throw the life-ring over you and an alarm would go off!...i never peed in the swimming pool after that!

Marisa Marisa P M

Up until about six, I use to believe that everyone had a different color of pee and I was stuck with yellow.

Anon

When i was little, i thought dogs poop from their tails.

Anon

Because my older sister sat down when she peed, I assumed that females eliminated all waste (pee AND poo) from their anus. I held this belief even though--at 13--a diagram of the female body in my health ed class had something on it called the "urethra." It still didn't register. (My female friends finally straightened me out one night during a "pressing matters" chat session, after laughing until they--quite fittingly--almost peed their pants.) I was 18!!!

BK (ignorant male)

I used to believe that eating dandelions would make you wet the bed. Often, however, I wet the bed and yet had not eaten any dandelions. Strange logic!

Fraser Allonby

Above the toilet in the bathroom is a small window. While growing up, I used to think that some people were looking through the window and taking pictures of me having a poo. I rested the toilet seat on my back for years so that they wouldn't be able to.
Oh God....

Rachel

i used to believe that poop was eggs and i would try to lay them like a chicken in the toilet but i would get scared they would die

Anon

When I was five I was to busy playing in the Wisconsin snow to come in the house and remove my snow suit to use the bathroom. Having two older brothers I knew they could pee standing up. I learned the cold way that girls can't pee like the boys

still freezing

when i was a little kid my sister told me that whenever i poopied that grimace the purple guy from mcdonald's would come out of my butt so i held it in all the time and was scared.

Jenna