weeing and pooing

My mom always told me that if I played with fire I would pee in the bed... i am not quite sure why she said this, but apparently it has been in my family for generations and that's why I always opted out sitting by fires at night!

Lauren

As a child (under four years old or so) I was slow to become potty trained. I was faring fine with number one, but as for poo-poo, I was still doing that in my pants at an age my mother thought was much too old to still not be "housebroken" as she often called it. Maybe she didn't really intend to compare me to a dog; she did have a habit of getting terms confused sometimes. Like one time I heard her refer to the transmission on her car as the "intermission". I pointed it out to her. She got real pissed and vehemehtly denied saaying "intermission" for transmission. Anyhow, back to the main story. To scare me into getting "housebroken", she made up story (at least I guess it was original with her) that, once I was five years old or more, any turds I did in my pants would turn into rattlesnakes and bite me. It must have worked, because I don't much remember shitting in my pants after that. But there was this one incident. By the fourth grade, my mom had me walking home from school every day. It was a bit over a mile. Then it happened. One day about halfway home, I had an urgent shit suddenly come on, that there seemed no way I could hold in until I got home. But I tried with all my might, terrified of the rattlesnake it could turn into. But then, some came out in my pants for all I could do. Desperate, I ran behind a bush in a stranger's yard, dropped my pants and dumped that turd like a hot potato, much relieved to see that it hadn't become a rattlesnake yet. But just as I started to pull up my pants up, I clearly felt more coming. What was I to do? I stayed there behind that push and doodooed the rest of my load there. Better than venomous fangs in my bottom! Afterwards I bolted for home in a hurry without wiping. Walking the rest of the way made my butt sore. It stayed that way for what seemed days (probably an exaggeration). But I didn't mind too much! Better a sore anus than a rattlesnake bite!

Dorothy

My step-father used to tell me that if I swallowed my gum when I tried to go to the bathroom a big bubble would come out and I would get stuck in the toilet and he wasn't going to help me and I'd be stuck there forever.

Fran

I used to think that the reason I needed to pee was because my penis was sucking in water from my bathtub.

porterfield

you know sometimes when you poo and it slips into the back of the toilet tube to dissapear before you've flushed? when this happened to me as a kid i thought either a villan had snuck in and stolen it somehow through the plumbing or that i had imagined that i had pooed or that there was just generally something wrong with me (like i had invisible or rapidly disintegrating poo and that thought made me panick for some reason). my poor ex uncle...i made him come into the bathroom after this had happened once, so that perhaps he could explain this mysterious phenomena to me.

i. f. m.

My mom used to tell me that when i would go poop not to push to hard or everything in my stomach (all of my intestines) would fall out with it.

Anna P.

When I was about six or seven I wouldn't ever read any of those celebrity magazines while going to the bathroom. Fearing that they could see me through the paper. Haha, what an odd belief.

Kate

From junior kindergarden to grade 2, teachers always stressed to ask to go to the washroom and not just leave, well i applied the same to at home. So everynight when i had to go to the washroom I would go to my parents room and ask to go :P

Anon

when i was little i did not know what sanitary napkins were for so one day while my mom was in the kitchen i went and asked her..she told me they were like diapers so that she did not have to go to the bathroom while she was busy..i think i was about 6 when this happened

Lisa J

For some reason I used to believe that weak, timid, wimpish and feeble people peed alot and that strong, tough and masculine people pooped and farted alot.
I also used to believe that girls wet themselves more than boys because girls don't have penises.

I believed odd things

When I was little I used to believe that if I played with fire, then I would wet the bed.

Danielle

I believed that when I went #2 in the toilet a giant spider would come up from the hole in the bottom and bite my bum. Needless to say, I wasn't potty trained until I was 4.

Jay

my friends husband has a little neice. well someone had told this little girl apparently that when you see poop it is actually chocolate. one day they went up to the bathroom to use it there stood the little girl turd in hand with it in and all over her mouth she was eating the chocolate out of her mini training potty.

maria

When I was little I loved to eat beans and I used to believe that I only pooped because I ate beans. So, for a week I stopped eating beans, but of course it didn't help any; however, I still refuse to eat beans.

Katie

My family used to tell me that if you played in the campfire, you would wet your bed at night.
Never actually happened, but I was VERY careful to use the restroom before I fell asleep.

Calli

i used to believe that our insides are hollow and when we eat that the food would pile up and rot and that was why i thought poop was brown....

rj

I used to believe pee was stored in your stomach and poo was stored in your back.

Rob

I used to believe that when I flushed the toilet a shark would come out of it. I used to wash my hands then flush then run very fast.

Lauren

When I was 5 or 6, I used to believe that if I pooed too hard that my guts would fall out, because I thought my butt connected directly to the inside of the body. I was scared of pooing for a long time until I learned about the digestive system.

Marco

When I took a crap,I used to think I was having a baby and was always surprised not to find a little fetus floating in the toilet.

Anon