family

I used to ask my mom if I would grow up to be her mom, and then we would switch again so she was my mom again, and so forth and so on, and the cycle never ends...

C.R.

I used to think that when I went to bed, everyone in the house would wait for me to fall asleep, & have a party. For many years, I'd close my eyes to pretend to sleep hoping to catch them in the act, but I'd always fall asleep. In my pretend-sleep, I'd hear loud noises (from my parents watching TV) & feel really sad. Sometimes, I'd actually bolt out of my room intent on making a bust only to find the party hadn't started yet.

p. doodie

My (older) sister used to tell me she had many different versions of her. (i.e. sister #593=shares, sister #24=bossy, sister, #871=says opposites, sister #6=sings,etc.) So she would constantly confuse me with her jeckyll-&-hyde transformations until I'd scream "I WANT SISTER #593, I WANT SISTER #593!!!"

p. doodie

When I was younger my dad would go to work and my sister would go to school. I was convinced that they were hiding from me because they didn't want to play with me. I spent hours looking for them everywhere. I loved to check the clothes closet, probably because it was MY favorite hiding place.

Gene B

I was very certain that my parents had had children before my siblings and me and that they grew up and went away. I would ask my parents all the time where they were until I was around 5 or 6. They never understood who I was talking about, but it made sense to me at the time.

Anon

When I was a wee lad, I used to walk around marveling at how tall all the older folks were so much taller than me. When I discovered that my parents were in their twenties, I immediatly got excited to meet my grandfather. I figured his head would be in the clouds.

Christian Green

My parents divorced when I was a baby. When I was 3 they tried to get back together, the result being my sister.

Up until I was about 10, and had already had some sex-ed in school, I thought my sister was a residual pregnancy from my parents marriage. Then one day my mother pointed out to me that that is impossible, and confessed they had been "trying to make it work" when I was 3....

Sexually Uneducated

When I was little i thought grandparents had to be hundreds of meters tall...

Anon

Once, I told my sister that "I need help." I meant that I needed help playing the piano. She woudln't help me so I began screaming, "I need HELP!" She later came in and told me that she had called the Mental Institution because I 'Needed help,' And that they were going to come and take me away. I cried for about a half hour before I realized it wasn't true.

Boo hoo

When I was a small child, my Nannan would keep me amused by telling me a mixture of world + family history, fairytales, + Bible stories. I knew she was speaking from memory when she told me about the Second World War + my Mother's childhood, so I assumed that everything else must be from her memory, too... I thought she must have met Henry VIII + Jesus + Oliver Cromwell in person, or at least watched them on the news...
I can't remember when I found out she wasn't immortal, but it must have been a bit of a dissapointment.

Nin

When I was younger, my parents told me that I was adopted. I was told that my real parents lived in the basement of the McDonald's down the street because there were stairs that were on the side of the building that went to the basement. My biological parents also told me that my "real" parents were big green and ugly monsters. I actually used to believe this.

Shelby

I used to think that my dad was homer simpson because he had the same head shape and that we was bald like homer.
I told dad that he was homer simpson one night after the simpsons just finished.("doh"). he said he convinced me he wasn't.

Andrew

My parents used to joke around with my sisters and I, saying that my mother's full name was Merci beaucoup (means thanks you very much in french).. (moms name is marcy) So forever we thought that Merci beaucoup was her full name. My sister, only about 5 years old got lost in a target. When we found out she was missing we started looking around for her, only to hear the customer service intercom caller saying "will Merci beaucoup please come up to the service desk, your daughter is here!"

sugarpies

this isn't really about marriage, but whenever my family would talk about my brother dumping his girlfriends, i used to think that he'd put them in the hamper in the garage. lol weird huh?

Sydni

When I was young, we used to go and stay over night at my grandmothers house. She lives way out in the middle of no-where, and there are coyotes near their ranch. We'd drive up to their house at night and be unloading our bags and I would just jolt right into the house and cry because I was afraid the coyotes would get me. Grandpa told me that the coyotes were afraid to come in the house but if I kept crying, it would attract them.

Kathryn M.

When I was little I thought that the my parents real names were in fact "mom" and "dad" I got really mad when other people called there parents that too because those were my parents names!

Leela

I used to think that all parents were exactly the same as mine, they just belonged to different people. I also thought that all parents treated their kids just like mine treated me.

Anon

When me and my sister were reeeeaally young my dad had this black mustang and everyone in my family would call it the "Batmobile" Because we thought it resembled it. And my dad also had a job where he would have to leave at random times unlike our step mom who had a schedual job. So for the longest time me and my sister decided that my dad was secretly Batman and when he left for work he was really going out to beat up bad guys. I feel like a moron but everytime we watch that movie we crack up.

Anon