family

Once when I was maybe five or four, my sister and I were watching telly and this odd comercial came on about safety and this girl swung all the way over the top of the swingset and got turned inside out. My sister told me that was what happened, and I wasn't able to go on the swings until I was 12! i also remember asking my mum where boys weed out of and remember her distinctly telling me that boys didn't wee, it was a figment of my imagination. It was quite the oddest conversation I ever had with my mum.

Margot Connolly

i remember asking my dad 'dad when you a child had joined up writing been invented'. Bless me.

Roy

Once around Chirstmas time my parents were always in their room with the door shut. I always wanted to know what they was doing in the room alone (I was 4) so I would stand on my head to look under the crack of the door. Mom finally told me that my dad was "in trouble and was grounded until Christmas". I was mortified that parents could get in trouble too and I didn't understand who punished them. Only later did I learn they were building a dollhouse for one of my presents.

Christmas Trouble

Up until my mum taught me to write my name and her name, I thought she was called 'Darling' because that's what my my dad always called her.

Adele

Up until about age 12 I was thoroughly convinced that my great grandfather had been on the Titanic. It turns out, he had just used the Titanic as an example to explain that he was on a big ship like that when he was in the Navy. It registered in my brain though and I remember telling all my friends at school that he had been on the Titanic. Needless to say it's impossible seeing as there weren't too many survivors and he was definitley not the right age.

The Frog Princess of T-Ville

When I was very small, since both of my grandmothers were named Clara, I used to believe that all grandmothers were named Clara.

Amie

An old neighbor of my grandparents was this gnarly, sea-dog-looking geezer whom I would visit when staying at my Grandparents house for summer or whatever. He used to be a merchant marine and he told me he could "breathe underwater" and that he would teach me how to do it too. My mind was blown by the idea. I was already enamored of the sea anyway so I would day dream about cruising underwater for hours without coming up for air. He never did get around to teaching me. Is that sort of thing possible?

John

My mom always referred to herself as being a tom-boy when she was younger. This had me pretty scared because now she was a girl. I thought that one day would also become a mom and have to have babies.

teeps

When I was little my mom and grandma used to say bad things about my aunt like that she was a back stabber and stuff well because they said this I was aways afraid she was going to kill me I wouldn't even eat the food she would make for me when I came to her house.

omg

when i was in the second grade i was making a necklace with my mom. since i was only about 7 i liked to make necklaces. it was past my bedtime wen i got finished and i showed my older sister the necklace and said "look what i made with mommy!" and she said "only gay people make necklaces with their mommys." i hardly knew what that meant but i knew it was bad so i went to bed and thought i was gay. but i know im no t gay now cuz that was about 10 years ago.

Anon

As a child I used to sneak into my Grandparents bedroom and have a look at my Nan's jewellery..... now I thought that they were robbers and stole all the stuff from the jewellery store, so i confronted them about it, to which they just laughed :(

Paranoid

I WAS FOUR WHEN MY BROTHER WAS BORN AND I WAS HELD UP TO THE NURSERY WINDOW TO SEE HIM. IN MY MEMORY, I WAS STANDING & LOOKING DOWN AT HIM IN A HOLE. WHEN I HEARD HE WAS GOING TO GET A SHOT, I ENVISIONED HIM BEING SHOT WITH A MACHINE GUN. THEREAFTER I WAS TERRIFIED OF GETTING A SHOT!

RANDY

i used to think that my sister was a genie and flew a magic carpet at night

Anon

when i was little my dad used to go play tennis with his friend every once in a while. while he was gone and there was a tennis match on tv i would make my mom leave it on incase my dad would be on tv. and people always asked me what my "daddy did". to my parent's embarressment i told them that he played tennis.

k8