family

I used to believe that my Mom had sewn tiny hidden microphones into all my shirts, because it seemed like she always knew what kind of nonsense I was getting into.

Dan L

I used to believe that my dad knew everybody that you needed to know - and although I'm now 25, I'm still not convinced that he doesn't. He knows who to speak to to get - including a special price on concert tickets, a cheap (but excellent) photographer for my wedding, and all manner of cheap reliable tradesmen.

Anon

Here in NJ, there used to be (I don't think it exists anymore) a psychiatric hospital commonly referred to as Marlboro...from the town or township it was in, I think.

When I used to drive my mother to distraction, she'd tell me I was going to "Drive her to Marlboro". In my naive, little kid mind, I thought she meant that she was going to change cigarette brands.

frank

I was cleaning my bike one day, I was about 10 years old. Dad came in and saw I was having a bit of a hard time getting it clean, and told me I'll have to use some "elbow grease"
He went away and I was left wondering where this elbow grease was, so I went and asked my mum. They had a good laugh at my expense!

shazza

My uncle was always teasing me and my brother, and by the time I was in my late teens, we were both so used to his b.s. that we took anything he said with a grain of salt. One day he told us there was a movie called "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes". We didn't believe him...and then years later we found out it was true.

Epicurienne

I grew up in a Russian immigrant family and I was used to hearing my father's name in Russian, which with English letters would be "Seroja". Also, my father owned and worked at a signs store named "Signs, Signs, Signs". Every time I was at his office with him, which was pretty often, he would answer the phone "Signs, Signs, Signs". So one day he brought a friend over and so I asked his name and my dad's friend said "I have the same name as your dad. Do you know your dad's name?" And I said, "Of course! It's Seroja." So he replied, "And what is it in English?" So of course I said... "It's Signs Signs Signs!"

Lana

I am the second child in my family, coming after my sister Liz. When I was 3 or 4 years old, I used to think that every family has a Mom, a Dad, a Liz, and another guy, which in my family happened to be me.

Mike

At one time when my brother and I were misbehaving and getting on our parents' nerves, my father said "Oh, do what you want."

We thought he meant it - so of course we got in even more trouble.

Anon

my friend from preschool, told me about her twin sister (they were both black) and asked me if i had a twin.. naturally, being the competitive one that i was, i said yes and told her that they had dark skin like hers and long black hair in cornrows like hers.. soon i realized, that i wasnt black.

m0rrin muireann

When i was a child my Grandfather had me convinced he was a girl before he was a boy! And that if i didnt behave he would make me change into a little boy as well!

jj

a frequent fantasy, until about age 6,
was that my parents were aliens and wearing very detailed human suits. On some given day, they were going to "unzip" their disguises and reveal their true appearance. This may have been fed by the old TV series Mission Impossible with Martin Landau pulling off ocmplex masks.

ChazStillAKid

I used to believe my Dad when he said he could lift a house with his hands, but he couldn't show me cos he'd break the furniture inside. I used to tell all my friends how strong he was!

Anon

I used to beleive that my parents had magical powers. Every time they kissed a boo-boo, it went away. Every time I asked a question they knew exactly the right answer. Even realizing that it wasn't magic, just wisdom, I was scared to death when I got pregnant at 18. I told my mom that I didn't have the "magic" of parenting and that I would be a failure. She of course had no idea what I was talking about. (I got the magic a few months later)

A.D.

When I was around five or six, I once asked my parents that if I hadn't been born into their family would I have been born into somebody else's. It took a while for my dad to stop laughing ...

Anon

When I was about 6 or 7, I noticed that George Washington wore breeches and Abraham Lincoln wore trousers. Therefore, I concluded that my father, who wore trousers, must have been a contemporary of Lincoln.

Nicholas Dollak

My brother and I have convinced all of our kids at one point or another that (if they continue to be bad) we will ship them off to join their evil twins in Pago Pago who were SOOOOO BAD that we sent them off at birth.

My wife and I have also convinced our 2 year old that the monster will get her if she doesn't lie down and get her diaper changed! (not sure how she will turn out as an adult now but what the heck)

CoeMah

When I was a child, my parents and neighbors said to me, "You were picked up from under the bridge". Because my face doesn't look like my parents. But my sisters and my brothers look like my parents. So I was sad and I cried.
I knew when I grew up that. The bridge means my mother's legs. They were just joking with me.

Namhee

My mother used to tell me that I was adopted from a band of gypsies. Where she came up with this or why I believed this for the first 12 years of my life I'll never know. But I can remember telling all my friends at school and loving it.

PeanutLouLou