family

Both my parents used to insist to us that one day they decided to go to "Monkey Island" and they picked us out, cut off our tails and shaved us down and that was how adults got children. They also told us we had an older sister who they sent back to Monkey Island because she was a "bad/wild" monkey.

bananas

My aunt Bobbi used to tell us if we were naughty she would take us back to the store we were bought from.
So I was from target, my cousin Kaytlyn was from k-mart, and Kaytlyn's brother Gage was from wal-mart.
We were pretty convinced for quite awhile that we were from those stores, but when we got older and we knew better.
So when aunt Bobbi had another baby, Allie, we told her she was from menards and if she was naughty they would take her back. If she was acting up someone would just say "Allie, you don't want to go back to menards do you?" and she'd behave haha.
I feel kinda bad because it wasn't very funny when it was happening to us, but she's older now and she knows better, she doesn't have a complex or something :P

Ashley

I thought Sam Hill was an actual place that lost socks, missing earrings, etc resided. My father always said "where in Sam Hill is...." I thought he was asking my mom the exact location like an address....

charlie

My family used to pray before dinner with the phrase "Watch over us" but my brother and I always thought the line was "Watch O' Russ." We had an uncle named Russ, so it made perfect sense. We just assumed he needed more help than others.

Mike

I used to think it was an amazing coincidence that all my members of my family had the same name.

Raj

My mom would use the phrases, "For the love of Pete" or "For Pete's sake" when she got frustrated (instead of using God's name in vain...) She also happened to have an Uncle Pete, and I always thought she was referring to him when she said those things!

Lois

When I was younger I used to believe that because my fathers birhtday fell on St Patricks Day (March 17th),and because he was actually called Patrick... That every single St Patricks parade in the world was held because he was so important that everybody wanted to celebrate!! What a silly girl I was!!!

Ciara

i used to think, having seen my parents initials on letters (mr d and mrs m ......), that their names were daddy and mummy

cath

I used to think that grown-ups turned into space alienks when I didn't look at them, then, when I looked again they'd all be "normal" & "human-like"...I tried catching a few out by pretending not to look, but they always WERE faster than me... ;-)

teffietastic

When my cousin Michael had misbehaved, my mother said that his mother would whip him. I thought this meant that she would put him in a bowl and use an eggbeater on him.

C.C.

For years I was believed that my dad was 49, that he didnt change his age every birthday.
I was gutted when I found out he was only 38!!

silly me

When I was five, my uncle told me he had a wooden leg. When I tried to touch it to feel if it was really made out of wood, he used to say "don't, or you'll get a splinter". He also told me that my other uncle had a wooden head, but not to say anything, because he liked to pretend he had a normal head.

Sam

I used to believe my mom kept a lizard in her purse that would bite me if I got into it.

Anon

This is my dads belief. When he was little, he used to think that baby showers were where a bunch of women got together and took a shower. he never wanted to go because he didnt want to be in a shower with a bunch of older naked women

Jessica

I used to believe that my dad was only "my dad". I used to get so frustrated when my cousins called him "uncle mike" because he wasnt their uncle mike, he was MY DAD!

Anon

I used to believe my parents had been captured by the Invaders from Mars and programmed to act very weird all the time. I was always looking for those small pinholes in the movie on the back of their necks as proof. It was the only explanation I could come up with for their behavior.

optional

We have this hole in our backyard that's about three feet wide, and I always wondered how it got there. My older sister, who always filled my head with lies, told me that it was where my brother's spaceship landed, and dropped him off for our parents to take care of.

Lisa

I used to believe, given the chance, that any member of my family except my oldest sister might poison my dinner, so I used to go into the kitchen and watch as it was being served onto the plates to make sure there was no opurtunity for anyone to poison me. Sometimes even adding to my mother "you better not have poisoned this. I'm on to you"

Anon

When I was about five, I heard my mother call my paternal grandmother "Mom." From this, I naturally assumed that Nana had been Mom's mother when Mom was a little girl, and that, conversely, my dad had been raised by my maternal grandparents. I thought that couples swapped parents when they were married.

deanna

I used to believe my parents were trying to kill me. If I was going to enter a room or take a shower, I'd wait ten minutes or so longer than I otherwise would have because they knew that I was going to go there and they had boobie trapped the place. And if I was getting in the car with them, I'd say I was gonna get in the front seat, then sit in the back seat or vice-versa to throw them off.

Hugo