family

I WAS FOUR WHEN MY BROTHER WAS BORN AND I WAS HELD UP TO THE NURSERY WINDOW TO SEE HIM. IN MY MEMORY, I WAS STANDING & LOOKING DOWN AT HIM IN A HOLE. WHEN I HEARD HE WAS GOING TO GET A SHOT, I ENVISIONED HIM BEING SHOT WITH A MACHINE GUN. THEREAFTER I WAS TERRIFIED OF GETTING A SHOT!

RANDY

That my mom was an alien!

Boo

When I was little, the only TV shows my parents ever watched were Seinfeld and Roseanne. I had no interest in Seinfeld, but the angry, constantly-shrieking-about-nothing Roseanne Barr intrigued me. After an unhealthy amount of exposure to the show combined with my own family experiences, I began to believe that all fathers' names were "Dan," since my own dad's name is Dan, and John Goodman's character on the show shares this name. The total lack of exposure I had to the first names of other fathers (who talks about that when they're little anyway?) led me to believe this odd little mistake for an embarrassing number of years.

Anon

I use to believe that i was adopted. I believed this until i learned about birth certificates. I'm still not sure, they are so different

pea-nuttz

i used to belive that since my grandparents and aunt and uncle lived in florida so did my dad when he was a kid. Now i know htat he used to live in New Jeresy

anm

I used to believe that ur parents cud read ur mind.

Anon

When my sister and I were young, our dad convinced us that there were little elves in EVERYTHING that made everything run. For instance: there were elves in the vending machines that pushed the snacks out, and in the pencil sharpener with little axes. He even got us to say goodnight to them every night before we went to bed.

Anon

Here in NJ, there used to be (I don't think it exists anymore) a psychiatric hospital commonly referred to as Marlboro...from the town or township it was in, I think.

When I used to drive my mother to distraction, she'd tell me I was going to "Drive her to Marlboro". In my naive, little kid mind, I thought she meant that she was going to change cigarette brands.

frank

In my young days I believed that all people are related to me and irrespective of caste creed or colour, I considered them all as my superiors and I almost bowed before them, with the result that some of them thought that I was making fun of them.

anon

once i saw my mum and dad snoggin so i thought it was a sighn of friendship so the next day i went into school and snogged a girl so she thought i was a lezi

beth-star

When I was little that when children grew up to be adults that they grew back down to be children and babies again. I never knew where old people came into the picture. I guess my head got screwed up somewhere.

CC

My uncle was always teasing me and my brother, and by the time I was in my late teens, we were both so used to his b.s. that we took anything he said with a grain of salt. One day he told us there was a movie called "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes". We didn't believe him...and then years later we found out it was true.

Epicurienne

when i was in the second grade i was making a necklace with my mom. since i was only about 7 i liked to make necklaces. it was past my bedtime wen i got finished and i showed my older sister the necklace and said "look what i made with mommy!" and she said "only gay people make necklaces with their mommys." i hardly knew what that meant but i knew it was bad so i went to bed and thought i was gay. but i know im no t gay now cuz that was about 10 years ago.

Anon

My mom made me believe that if I unplugged the timer on my TV and plugged it in that it would break my TV. I didn't find out till I was in middle school. Thanks Mom, I'm still an Insomniac

Anon

I used to believe that everyone's father was a scary, mean man like mine, so I was extra careful to keep my distance from everyone else's father, too.

The Dark Side of the 50s

When I Stayed At My Grandpas With My 2 Sisters We Would Ask Him If He Could Give Us PiggyBacks. When We Asked Him He Would Say Nah! I Got A Bone In My Leg! And We Would All Together Pick Him Up Off His Chair. Then When We Grew Up A Bit He Said Nah! I Got A Bone In My Leg And We Said: We Would Hope So!

Travis Stewart

When i was little i thought when parents would ground their kid they would actually dig a hole and put the kid in. they were actually underground.

b-sing

I was (and still am) an only child, and begged my parents for a little sibling (sister preferrably), my parents never came around to having one, so I made up fake ones.

Smurfette

When I was little I though that the clock that wake up my grandma and granddad was an screaming woman.

Maria

When I was a kid, I used to believe that every family around me was like mine. Both parents happily married, a stable income, that all the fathers cooked, cleaned and washed the dishes. I believed that every mother used to pay their own things and all women had their own money to spend in everything they want.

Anonimous