reading

When I was learning to read/write, I believed that periods signified the end of a word. So. I. would. write. things. like. this.

Jodie

When I was learning to read, I was convinced that "$20" was read as "dollars-twenty"—not as "twenty dollars". I refused to believe my mother when she corrected me because my way seemed so obvious.

Meh.

i believed that at the end of any business deal made the person who was the deal maker would give the other guy a pair of new white socks. This is because when i first started to read properly and i tryed to read anything (the junk mail that came through the post) i kept misreading 'while stocks last' to 'white socks last' and to this day!! even putting that now i wanted to white socks last im 22.

kirsty

My mom bought me a Guinness Book of World Records when I was 8 and I loved reading it because I thought it would make me a genius. Why did I think that? Well, I didn't know what "Guinness" was nor how it was pronounced, so I assumed it was called the "Genius's Book of World Records"!

Anon

I was broken hearted when I read a chalk message outside my friend Dorelle's house that said "Went Private". I stood outside in the street and shouted her name, because I didn't dare go onto her property, but she didn't come out. Deeply distraught, I ran home and fetched my dad who explained that the message was "Wet Paint", and I could still go and call on Dorelle, so long as I didn't lean up against the painty fence.

Dorelle's friend

I used to think that Horoscopes were actually Horror-scopes, and I never wanted to read mine because I didn't want to know what horrors I would be encountering in the near future.

PS

When I was a kid, I used to think that an oxymoron was a stupid ox.

Froogle

I used to think that the word "soliciting" meant the same as "socializing" and I remember being really confused at a restaraunt that had a sign saying "No Soliciting". I was worried that my family was all going to get in trouble for talking.

T.

I used to think that there were two n's in the alphabet, one after m and one right before z. i thought this until 2 grade. i thought that because when people said w x y and z, it sounded like w x y n z

Trout

I used to believe that the word "prosecuted" meant shot or killed. I have no idea why I thought this. Imagine the fear I had every time I saw a sign saying "Violators will be prosecuted" or "Trespassers will be prosecuted."

Dakota

I thought that the women who drove the bookmobile actually wrote all of the books on the shelves.

Dan

I first saw the word "Lisztomania" in a "grown-up"(a book that doesn't have many pictures) book I was reading at the library as a kid. I didn't know what it meant at the time, so I assumed it was a country or a type of dance or something like that...

Bookworm

When I was about twelve or thirteen, my mother was reading me The Odyssey, and at one point, Queen Penelope has these men who want to marry her because they think Odysseus is dead, and they say, "We'll draw lots". I didn't know what that meant, so I thought it meant they'd draw (as in sketch) a lot of Odysseuses.

Anon

My mom was a high school English teacher. She used to have a book in the house entitled, "Writing With a Purpose" and for some reason I thought it read, "Writing with a Porpoise". I couldn't understand why she was having her students study about Porpoises in English class.

Amy

I used to think that when you saw comments from 'the Guardian' on the back of kids books, it was somebodys guardian saying their child enjoyed the book, as I didn't know it was a newspaper.

Anon

I saw a truck that said "non-potable water" on it. Not knowing that word, I thought it said "non-PORTABLE water", and wondered how they could transport it in a truck if it's not portable.

Anon

I am 13 years old and I remember when I was learning to read I thought that everyone was making the words up and it was one big practicle joke to try to convince me into beliving them and that the letters were just squiggles that everyone said were letters. When I refused to listen to my teacher in Kindergarden and told her that she was lieing about the letters and words then as I procided to throw a tamtrum I was sent early for nap time so she wouldn't have to put up with me. I WAS AN ODD CHILD...

Sarah

As a child I played videogames, especially poorly translated ones from Japan. I sometimes tried to adopt some of the bizarre syntax and grammer of these games, assuming that while it seemed akward and at times incomphrehensible, it MUST be right.

Anon

When I was seven years old, I used to believe if you closed a magazine and left it alone for a few days, all of the pictures inside would change to new ones. I have no idea why . . .

Jerre

There's a Captain Underpants book in which the heroes put the title character under a placebo effect, which they misidentify as a "placenta effect". I had heard of the concept, but the joke went over my head, and for years I referred to the phenomenon as "the placenta effect".

Anon