reading

Used to go around my school classes and brag to people that I read "War and Peace" (being of course famous or infamous for its horrendous length). It was a lie... and I know I was just a kid, but I guess I didn't realize it was such a LAME thing to brag about.

ME: "I read War and Peace!"
THEM: "Nice, want to play Legos?"
ME: "I READ all of it! War and Peace!"
THEM: "Uh, okay. Cards?"
ME: "Tolstoy is cool, WAR!"
THEM: "Okay, you nerd."
ME: "And PEACE!"
THEM: *goes away*
ME: "I think I shall read it again!"

You may have, by now, gauged my level of popularity back then.

Ashton Sanderson

I could never figure out what No unauthorised entry" signs meant, as I thought unauthorised was una-thor-sized. I was about 19 years old before I heard someone read one of these signs out loud and realised my mistake.
And there was a magazine that we used to get that would say on the cover "full story on centre pages", I thought it said "certain" pages and would spend ages flicking through the mage looking for the certain pages that the story was on!

Lobelia Overhill

when my friend was little, she used to eat paper, thinking it would make her read better.

hehehe

I used to believe that if I saw or thought of the words 'to be continued' a man in white overalls and hat would go underneath my bed and paint the words underneath my bed. It scared me to see that saying.

Alisa J

I used to believe the word "relax" wasn't a real word until I turned 16 after I found this word in the dictionary. I read a newspaper when I was about 6 and I asked my mom to define "relax", she said it was not a word at all and it was just a total slang. I suppose she was just too lazy to define.

Alexa

When I was four, I was very puzzled when I read the word "know." I knew the word when it was said aloud, but took a LONG time to figure out that they were the same word. I thought it was pronounced "ku-NOW" and that it had something to do with Chinese food!

Anon

I thought a defibrillator was just a lie detector. That explains why they have so many in airports, they can just de-fib anyone they suspect of terrorism. I thought this until I was 13

Layna

When I was five years old, my mom had a copy of a book titled "What Was Good About Today?" I thought the title meant that "Good" was the name of a TV show and that the author was asking what that day's episode was about.

alf was here

I used to ask my father to read me a bedtime story every night. Usually he did, but every now and then he would tell me that today he couldn't, because today he wasn't able to read. At that age (I must have been 2 - 3 years old) I was used to newfound abilities sometimes failing, so I accepted that adults must experience the same thing from time to time.

Ole

For some reason, in the book "The Restraunt at the end of the Galaxy" (sequel to "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy), I thought until pretty recently (I'm 16) that Trillian, the female in the book, was a giant centipede. heh...

Yami kami

I believed that there were two n's in the alphabet. I asked my teacher in kindergarten because to me it went... L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y *N* Z (because of the AND Z).

Joelle

When I was little I thought that the weight measurement "pounds" were different from "lbs." I thought lbs was pronounced lubs, and got a good laugh when I explained this to my family.

Anon

I used to think that the mangled abridgement HAZCHEM was German for "Danger" as it appeared next to the word on the sign.

joey_gambles

When I was little, me and my mom went to the Library. They have those computers where you look up books right in the middle. We both went to them, because I liked looking up stuff about dogs and whatnot. But, what my mom was looking up looked much more interesting. So, I went over to her computer and started reading aloud what it said. "Pubert..." and that's as far as I got. I was convinced for years that Puberty was the brother of Rupert. (You know, from that cartoon about the bear that went on adventures)

Sarah

When I was about 6 years old, me and my younger brother found the "Lord of the rings" book in my parents bedroom,it was the biggest book we had ever seen, except for the bible, so we thought it was the opposite,the Devil's book, so we hid it under the book shelf, unluckily, it was a library book...

Lillian

I used to believe that 'prosecuted' as in 'trespassers will be prosecuted' meant electrocuted. I always thought that it was so unfair, and that they should at least give you a chance to explain.

Amber

When I first started learning to read I was convinced that vowels were called barnacles.

Andy Howell

When I was four, my daddy took me on the streetcar for the first time. I was pretty impressed, and felt I had to impress my dad as to my coming of age by proving I could read, and understand words.I read the sign over the driver's head to my dad, and told him, "I know what that means." He said, "What does it mean?" The sign read "No spitting on this car." I told him that it meant that people could not use nasty wordsge on the streetcar........i.e. "No spiting"...

Robert Lincoln

When I was 6 or 7, I received a children's one-volume encyclopedia. At the end of some entries, it would suggest that you "Look Up" a related subject. I could not understand why the book wanted me to look up. I tried staring at the ceiling but nothing happened.

Anne

Once, while walking with my dog down the street I saw a sign I front of someone's house that said "Season's Greetings". I could'nt read very well at the time so I read it as "Satan's Greetings", I was so scared, we ran all the way home to frantically tell my mom. lol

Emily Rose