speaking

I used to believe that priceless and worthless ment the same thing. So whenever we went to someone's house and they would describe the artifact as "priceless", i used to wonder why are they so proud of it?

Anon

when I was about 9 I started hearing other kids say "My bad..." for the first time. But I heard it for the first time at the end of recess, when some kid had left his lunchbag and a teacher was going around asking who forgot theirs. So the kid went up and seeing him taking his lunchbag, I thought he said "My bag...." and the next day at shop class I pushed someone's eraser off the table by mistake and said "My bag..." One of my classmates said that it's supposed to be "My bad..." They all laughed.

Art

My percocious cousin developed a capacity for language early on. Earlier, that is, than he developed the needed vocabulary. So he was speaking in coherent complete sentences, which were about half english and half words he completely fabricated. Only some were ever decoded, and the only one I can remember right now (danged memory block!) is his word for fire-engine: Synanoonie. He also had some notable ones for various zoo animals which slip my mind at the moment

Pinkl

We used to watch a lot of public television in my family. I remember watching a NOVA special on black holes with my dad. They interviewed Stephen Hawking, who can't talk properly due to a degenerative illness. When I asked my dad why the man was talking so strangely, he told me his voice was sucked out by a black hole. I completely believed him, and today he won't admit to having ever said it.

Dina

We have Mormons come around to all the houses in our village to preach but when I was little I used to say that the Mormons were Normans.

Anon

I remember talking about metaphors as a child at school. The kids were giving examples such as 'as blind as a bat'. I piped up with 'cold as a penguin's chuff'. It wasn't until years later I realised that a) the teacher really did look that horrified; and b) a penguin's chuff is NOT the feathers on it's tummy, regardless of what Dad had said.

Catherine

When I lived in Nairobi, Kenya as a high school kid, we went out to dinner one night with another family that had a little 5 year old kid. He was extremely excited in the car ride to the restaurant, which nobody understood, until we got there and he was instantly bewildered, then crushed. "What? This isn't a CARNIVAL!" he whined. The name of the restaurant was The Carnivore.

Poor kid; he had it wrong all along!

Mzungu mama

I had a teacher in primary school called Mr. Hampson, but I thought he was called Mr. Hamster - I even wrote it on the front of my books!

Ruth

There was a kid at nursery called Ashley and he must have hated me because I kept telling him he was saying it wrong, and that he was called "Actually!"

Ruth

When I was at nursery, there was a nun called Sister Tereseta and she was my favourite. I remember calling this sweet old lady "Sarah Tweeter!"

Ruth

When my sister was very young she asked "Is good Friday next Thursday?" and my daughter, when she was a toddler, told us "I aways clean my teeth, sometimes, never."

StevieC

when i was 10 ,i used to think that " uranus " is a planet. but actually it's not anymore. it means your anus .

Steven - Thailand

When I was young, my grandparents had a mutt named Princess. At one of my birthday parties, my grandmother and great aunt were discussing Princess Di. Having only heard a part of the conversation, I burst into tears thinking that my beloved dog Princess had died.

Astron

No one told me about 'colonel' being pronounced 'kernel'. As a kid I used to tape-record things for my grandparents who lived far away, and I did my favourtite poems: one of them was 'Colonel Fazackerly Butterworth Toast, bought an old castle complete with a a ghost'. My parents were killing themselves listening to me scan 'colonel' (it got a lot of mentions in the poem...)

edie

My grandmother used expressions such as "Hold your tounge" and "Keep your shirt on."

I remember holding my tounge for about 5 minutes before I asked if I could stop.
Or holding down my shirt incase it accidently flew off.

Anon

I once developed this belief that you only got a certain number of words in your lifetime. I got very worried I was using them all up at a very young age, and I wouldn't have any left when I was older, so I would be mute. It made sense- everyone was always telling me to be quiet! I decided to try and save them, so I wouldn't talk for a week, until I promptly forgot about it and went back to my normal mouthy self.

Rachel