speaking

When I was 9 I overheard my mother talking to a guy friend. Well I was across the room but I swore I had heard him say he was a lesbian. This confused me greatly because I knew lesbians were women and this was clearly a man. I didn't know what to make of it so I put in the back of my mind for a while. A while later he came back to visit and as he was leaving my brother pulled in the driveway and when he came in the door he asked who it was that was leaving our house. My mother replied "Oh that was Mark. Cynthia's husband" and I eagerly added "Yeah and he's a lesbian!" with much enthusiasm. My mom looked at me bewildered and asked where I had gotten that idea. I told her from the visit before, he had said he was a lesbian. She still looked confused a few seconds when it dawned on her and she started cracking up laughing. "He said he was a thespian not lesbian, you silly girl!". Apparently when across the room and listening to the t.v. the word thespian can sound a lot like lesbian to a child.

Gillian

I used to think an Orgasm and Organism were the same thing. Imagine my embarrassent in biology lessons.

Anon

When I was a child, I was very picky about the fabric and fit of my socks, and until I was about 8 or 9, I had somehow gotten the idea that "edible" meant "accpetable" I still have a vivid memory of my parents laughing hysterically at my announcement that I didn't have "any edible socks!"

Lisa

I used to think the word fault was pronounced 'fork' so if I ever got into trouble I would say: "it wasn't my fork!"

Lozzz123

i was on a ferry with my family and i saw something in the water. i asked my mom what it was and she said "they're buoys" (she pronounced it 'boys') to which i replied "if they're boys, where's all the girls??!!"

sara

my sister and i used to call burger king "booger king." we knew it was burger king, but we couldn't pronounce it for anything.

ginger

When I was in kindergarten, my father ran his own construction company. When he came home one day complaining to my Mom about how he was going to have to fire a guy, I thought he meant that he was going to burn the guy at the stake, on top of a big bonfire of leftover construction materials.

ah to be young...

I used to believe that "human beings" were called "human beans" and I always pictured big green beans getting on a plane!

Leslie

i had my7 year old cousin over and i was checking my emails as she was sat with me. In the email it said "ROFL" (Rolling on floor laughing)
My cousin, being the dipstick she is, thought it was another word for Funny, like "hilarious" or something.
So when she tells stories about funny things instead of saying "it was funny" she says "It was roffle"
:/

Nikki

I used to beleive when ppl didn't talk (deaf ppl) they lost their voice and could never talk again!

Tiara 10

My dad has this weird belief that an autoharp is actually called an altoharp, but he pronounces alto to rhyme with balto. We used to argue about it a lot. I only heard him say it correctly once. He played one when he was a kid, and I think he misheard what his teacher called it. I think of that and laugh when I play it.

keyboardplayer

One summer while my family was visiting my cousin's family, a new family moved into my cousin's neighborhood from Davenport, Iowa. Whether coincidentally or not, it was while playing with my cousin and the new kid from Davenport that I for the first time heard a sofa called a "davenport'. I got thet idea that perhaps in a lot of places people call a sofa by the name of whatever city they are familiar with living in.

Doug

i used to think that schadenfreude was a "nazi word" and if you said it, you had to say heil hitler. my older sister loved messing with me, untilr my mom saied that nazi is bad

kid

My mom thought "ambulance" was "ambliance"

Molly

I used to believe that when my Mum said "Heaven Only Knows", that she was actually on about some guy called "Hevveroni". I always wanted to meet him....

Leah

I used to think that a Freudian slip was an apron women in the middle ages wore.

Emily

In our seventh grade science class while reading a chapter in our books out loud, when one person was asked to read a paragraph about squids, he said "A squid has ten 'testicles' while an octopus has only 8." He was supposed to say TENTACLES!!! The whole class burst out laughing!

Nina

I used to think that to have an affair meant to have a fight. One day, when my friend and I were at a ski resort, we started fighting and I went off alone to hide from her. Her Dad came over to ask what was wrong and I said "(my friend's name) and I are having an affair!" Her dad seemed a little confused. It was later that my friend told me what an affair REALLY was. Oops.

Anon

When I was 6 (or maybe 7), and on a country walk with my family, I referred to "that shoop".

Well, several geese, but only one goose, therefore several sheep, but only one shoop.

It was perfectly logical to me at the time, and, come to think about it, I might start a campaign to make my version the correct one...

Bandy

I used to believe that pathetic meant ugly. One day when I was sick, my mom said that I looked pathetic and asked if I needed help. I got really mad at her and said that it was mean of her to call me ugly. She just was like "what?" Then I said "Pathetic means ugly" she started laughing and wouldnt let me live it down.

pathetic gal