going shopping
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One time when I was little my Mom and I were driving by this grocery store called the Food Lion. I asked my Mom, does the Food Lion actually have a lion? Her replie was that there was a lion and it was sleeping in the back to guard the food. I belived that till I was 7.
When I was little I used to believe that the handicapped parking spots were where the people were supposed to park their wheelchairs before entering a store.
When I was 11 or so I saw a sign on a flower pot outside a shop that said no butts please. I interperted this as you weren't supposed to sit on it. I thought the wording was very funny
Our local shopping centre is built on an old quarry, so the underground car park has sheer rock walls. My nan used to tell me to stay close to her or the dragon that lived down there would 'get' me. As I had a habit of not staying with my mum and nan, this kept me very close to them whenever I was at this shopping centre. I believed this tale for a very, very long time. I enjoyed passing the tale on to my little brother ten years later.
I used to think that the flea market was a place where you can by fleas. I imagined jars swarming with fleas and I wondered why anyone would want them.
When I was little we did a project in school about Van Gogh . I used to think that the van rental place was actually a shop owned by a man who was called Van Rental.
I thought that if you didn't jump over the top of the escalator, you'd be sucked inside and would never get out. I blame my dad for this one, cuz he told my brothers and I this little story about a child who stayed on the escalator and got sucked inside and if we heard knocking sounds while on the escalator, that was the kid trying to escape. It gave me the shivers and after hearing that, I always jumped the last few steps.
I used to believe that the only way to get new safety pins was to send clothing to be dry cleaned, because in those days it always came back with the tag held on with the safety pin.
When I was a boy, I used to live in the bottom of a bowl shaped area in a small farming village in upsate new york. I used to believe that Indians were standing at the top of the hill like in some bad western, and every time I had to get groceries, I would run into the house from what I knew was going to be the next Custer's Last Stand.
I used to believe that while in the grocery store check out lane, just as it was possible to scan food items to determine their price -- it was possible that I too could be scanned. I thought many times about how much I might be worth.
Up until I was almost 9, my younger sister and I thought that we could fool people into believing that we were mannequins at department stores, just by wearing clean clothes and holding very still. Whenever someone gave us a second and very confused look, we thought we were fooling them.
I had lots of fun whispering to her to stop breathing so we'd be more convincing. Oh, and she tried.
When we got really good at this game, we started trying it everywhere, especially places with long, boring lines. We were Navy brats. There were lots of those. Our favorite was banks. No one there ever seemed to notice that we weren't actually mannequins. Little did we know, they just didn't care.
I used to believe that all those discounts for seniors were for high school and college seniors. I always wondered what they needed that they got so many discounts for. It took me a while to figure out they meant old people.
I used to think the Flea Markets actually sold fleas...
When I was little I used to think that the reason why my mom wouldn't allow me to go on the coin-op rides at the super market was because they needed $100 to work. I later realized there was a decimal place between the 1 and the first zero, changing that number to a mere dollar.
I use to be afraid of escalators in the mall, It wasnt the riding part that scared me , it was at the end and I thought it would suck me in.
When I was small, I used to love to look through the mail-out advertisements that contained coupons. Every time I would see "Save 25 cents on such-n-such" I truly believed that the product was on sale for only 25 cents and the coupon was telling the customer to save up a quarter. But then I would think, surely it wouldn't be that cheap, cause mom would be buying EVERYTHING!
I used to believe that I when I bought a new pair of shoes I could run faster. I would go home, put on my new pair of shoes and challenge all the boys in the neighborhood to a race.
For some reason, when I was little I used to think that if they were flowers in a store it meant it was someone's birthday. I could never figure out who, so I would just pick off one of the flowers, go up to some random person and go "Happy Birthday!!" No one ever refused the flower, but I imagine most of them thought it was pretty weird!
Up until I was about 8, I used to think that EVERYTHING had feelings in some way or another. When we used to go clothes shopping, I would say that I liked the most hideous outfits when my ma or sister said they were ugly, because I thought the clothes would be upset.
I also did this with products in chain stores, thinking that the sales clerks would be offended if I didn't like something they were selling, not realising that they were just working there to pay the bills!
When i was little, I asked my mom if we could get the pretty stamps at the post office instead of the plain flag ones. She told me "No, they're more expensive." When I was in college I went to buy stamps and decided to splurge and get the pretty ones and so I asked the post office person how much they were. I went home and told my mom and I don't think I've ever seen her laugh so hard. Now i get the expensive stamps all the time.
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