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If you pulled a face and the wind changed it would stay that way.
When my brother irritated me I would risk a quick horrible face and think that I was so lucky the wind didn't change.
When my brother was around four he would get into stuff and when my mom would spot him he's stand perfectly still pretending he was invisible. He Thought if he stayed still and didn't make any noise then my mother couldn't see him at all.
When I was little, I used to believe that everyone in the world was a big, green, monster, except me, and I was a part of their experiment, to see if creating another human would be a good idea. Even though they were green monsters, I could only see them as humans, and when they took pictures, they'd turn out looking like me.
My teachers, parents, and brother would periodically report to the head of their organization about how I was developing.
When I was little, my mum and I were watching a documentary on Queen Elizabeth I. I asked Mum if queens and kings ever got out of their thrones, because I thought they never got out and I just wanted to check.
i used to believe that if you stick your tongue out that someone holding a pair of scissors might walk by an accidently cut it off. this led me to keeping my tongue safetly in my mouth as much as possible. I also believed this about penises so i kept that pretty safe too. so far so good!
I thought that the term "smarter than she looks" was a compliment. Imagine my surprise when I said that 'compliment' to my teacher's friend.
I used to think that if you didn't have a birth mark you hadn't been born.
When I was three, my mom and my stepdad came to pick me up at daycare. Since I had met him, my stepdad had worn a beard, and so I was very surprised when my mom showed up with a guy with a shaved face.
"Where's Bobby?" I asked.
"He's right here," replied my mom.
I distinctly remember thinking that this guy must be named Bobby too, and that she must have misunderstood me.
"No," I explained, "the other Bobby."
My Opa (German for grandfather) told all my cousins and I that his scar on his belly that was really from getting his gall bladder out was from pirates that he fought while he was in the army in Alaska. How dumb were we? Pirates in Alaska against the US Army in sword fights in the 1950's, and we bought it until we were almost teens.
my best friend was so pale i thought she could glow in the dark
I used to believe that we only wore knickers/underpants in case someone pulled down our trousers! I'm quite amused by this former belief of mine and I still laugh about it!
me and my dad both thought that there were left and right socks and when i couldnt find a left and right socks i would ask my mum for a right sock i could borrow
this is from my moms childhood. when my moms youngest sister was able to understand more things, they (my mom and her other sisters) told her that when she was born, there parents didn't have enough money to raise her, so they froze her body. then told her that that was the reason why she was the only one with blonde hair and blue eyes.
When I was in elementary school, we had a lesson on how racism was wrong, and the teacher was telling us, "You should accept people whether their black, white, purple, or gold."
For the longest time I thought that there actually were purple and gold people, and I always wanted to meet one.
When I was younger my dad used to tell us that hiccups made you grow. I used to try and get them so I could grow taller than my parents.
I thought gay people were old men with very long beards.
My (much) older cousins are mixed-race. I am caucasian. When I was really little, I used wonder how old I would be before I "turned brown".
When I was like 5 my dad told me that if I put my hair behind my ears, I would turn in to a elf. and for the first like 8 years of my life i never put my hair behind my ears.
I saw a small parade while shopping with my mother when I was about 5. Marching in the parade were a couple of Planters Peanut characters and I truly believed they were real beings like people only PEANUT people with long black arms and legs and bodies shaped like peanuts. They were people but a different species living in a different country. Every time I see a picture of a Planter Peanut 'person' it makes me laugh.
My grandma told me if i stared in the mirror for too long the devil would come out and slap me. I had to sleep with a blanket over my dresser's mirror for year before i realized it wasn't true.
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