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Someone once told me that 666 is the devil's number and I had this shorts which had 666 on the zipper. So for a long time I was convinced that I am the devil's son.The funny part was that if you held the zipper upwards it looked like 999 but i was convinced that it is 666 so i spend a lot of time praying that I did not want to be the devil's son.

libyh

My 4 year old cousin recently asked us if Jesus is a man or a woman. We all guessed that the long hair, the beard and the robe made him doubt on everything that he already knew about boys and girls.

Barbara

I used to picture God as a giant transparent poodle after seeing "All dogs go to heaven".

Anon

I thought God looked a little like Newman from Seinfeld

Anon

When I was young I was shopping in London with my mum and we saw the actor Robert Powell. Knowing I wouldn't know his name my mum said "Look there's Jesus!". So I did what anyone would do in Jesus' presence and got on my knees.

Anon

I used to think that Jesus was English. It made sense to me at the time because Mary and Joseph are English names. Well, Joseph is a Jewish name but he wasn't Jesus' father. God was! He isn't Jewish...Don't even look Jewish...
God is Church Of England. Her Majesty the Queen's church!

Santa Puncher

When my goldfish died we flushed it down the toilet and my mum said that it had gone to heaven. So i said God lives in heaven and she said yes. So from then on i believed that God lived down the LOO!

Anon

When i was little i used to think of God as a tall guy, dressed in red robes and a red turban(why red?) with a big nose and a real serious expression and when rain came it was God taking a shower and during a thunderstorm him and his angels were running around playing football with the Sun, that's why it's so dark. What an imagination!

Rissy -riss

When I was little and learned the Apostle's Creed, I thought "Pontius Pilate" meant an evil and insane pilot (as in "suffered under Pontius Pilate"). I got this idea because of TV commercials for the movie "North by Northwest," in which Gregory Peck was being buzzed by an airplane and running away from it. I thought some crazy pilot did the same thing to Jesus.

Anon

Not mine, but my brother's-
My young brother, when told he was a child of Jesus, began to look terrified and started to panic. When we asked what was wrong, he wailed 'No child of see-sus! I mommy's child!'

Suprisingly, our pastor was the first to laugh.

A bad big sister

When I was a little girl, my parents explained to me that Jesus was everywhere. So, at night, I used to sleep in a little ball at the corner of my bed so Jesus would have room to roll over.

Sister Amanda

My CCD teacher always talked about "letting Jesus into the room in your heart". My parents never really raised me Catholic, and I never really thought religiously, so I would go home wondering about rooms in my heart, which I never thought about as this wondrous emotional thing, more as a mass of beating organ...and how it was furnished and the fact that there was a door on my heart, and why the hell Jesus was allowed in there??? I didn't tell him he could go in....

Anon

As kids, my cousin and I once put the watering hose in a hole in the ground and thought we could kill the devil by puting hell's fire out.

Wade & Chad

When I was younger, my best friend told me that anything you say after the word "holy" was what you were calling God. So if you said "holy cow", you were calling God a cow. Growing up a Christian, I didn't want God to think I thought badly of him. So I'd refrain from ever saying the word "holy." It wasn't till my teenage years when I had started to use that word again.

Nicci

Up until I was about 9, I thought all the snakes were the devils children because satan was a snake during the story of Adam and Eve. So I would always catch the snakes and talk to them so when they saw "dad" (aka:the devil) that just incase I didn't get to heaven the devil would somehow be nicer to me than everybody else because I was friends with his "kids".

Clueless