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When I was little, I used to believe the moon was God's desk chair, where he sat and watched us. I wouldn't pray when the moon was full, because that was the back of the swivel chair, meaning he was facing the other way and wouldn't hear me. When there was no moon, I was always afraid God had moved.
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I was raised Catholic, and had the idea of "inviting Jesus into your heart" doa little confused. Apparently, he knocked all the time, and when you answered, he could come inside & be inside your heart. The symbolism of this was somewhat lost on me though - I routinely used to kick Jesus out of my heart before I did bad things. I would tell him to leave, and once the evil deed was done, I would say, "Okay Jesus, you can come back in now." This went on for years.
I used to believe that if you picked up the phone and dialed 999-9999, you would reach Satan. I think I heard this from my brother, joking at some point. When I finally got the nerve to try calling, it didn't connect to anyone, so I assumed God had cut off his phone.
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In first grade of my Catholic school located in Illinios, it took me three weeks to clarify the following confusion: how could Abraham be the Old Testament leader of the Jewish people and the 16th President of the United States ?
I used to think that Joseph, Mary's husband, was God. He played the father role in Jesus' life and when I would hear that God was Jesus' father I just assumed they meant Joseph. I remember hearing in church that no one knew what God looked like, and I came across a picture of the Holy Family and wondered if anyone realized there was a picture of God!
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My daddy took me to church every Sunday. I heard the preacher talk about the Father. Being only about 4 or 5 at the time, I just naturally assumed that he was talking about my father which meant that my father was obviously God. Then I had an accident and broke my leg. My grandfather (my daddy's daddy) got really upset that I had not been taken to the doctor and he YELLED at my daddy. Then the most shocking thing happened. My daddy said "Yes, sir" to my grandfather. Well! I had apparently been wrong. My grandfather must be God...and that meant that my daddy was Jesus. So I asked him why he had changed his name to Raymond. When he figured out what I believed he had to set me straight.
I used to believe that God was holding earth and that he might drop it. I though so becuase of the song "He has got the whole world, in his hands!" I also tried to hold up the world by pulling on the grass.
When I was little, I called the Pope "the dude with the godly hat".
Me and my sister were small back then and were troublesome. My grandma threatened us that if we kept acting like this, a demon from hell will rise up from the ground and snatch us to take us to hell where the "bad behavior" originated. In order to send back the demon, we had to ask for forgiveness. It really worked for me, but I was scared for the longest time everytime I did something wrong........
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I used to think that nuns were God's girlfriends...
When I got my ears pierced I had crosses and believed the devil would come and take them when I slept...I got my ears caught in may blankets!!
When I was very little, I asked my mom "Mom? Where do angels go when theres no clouds for them to sit on?" and she looked down at me and said "Why, they sit on your shoulders of course!" I believed her for the longest time...and still do.
when i was little i had all these beliefs about god such as: when it was raining, god was crying and so forth. The best one i came up with when i was little was that when it was foggy outside god was smoking. It made perfect sense to me at the time because both of my parents smoke
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Heaven was up and Hell was down- that's what they told me. So I often would get down on the floor, put my face into the carpet, and yell at the floor in my bedroom, "I hate you!" because I thought I'd show off to God how much I hated the Devil. I'm sure my Mom was traumatized that her six year old was so hateful!
When I was a wee little girl, I believed that heaven was in the clouds (probably from TV). I also believed that God looked like the Lucky Charms man (again TV -there must have been some commercial where he was standing on a cloud or something).
Anyway, as I reached grade school age, I would always get perplexed by the Scripture about having a "faith like a child". I thought, 'What's so great about a faith like a child's? Just a couple of years ago I thought God looked like the Lucky Charms man, and you people are looking to US for solid faith??!!'
(It wasn't until last year that I figured it out... it's not about "head knowledge"; it's about a heart that trusts God's goodness)
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I used to think that the paparazzi and the pope were the same thing. Whenever I heard that some actor/actress had the paparazzi hiding in their bushes, I used to think it was an old Catholic priest hiding and taking pictures! This confused me because he's so holy and I thought it wasn't very nice for such a holy man to be invading peoples privacy like that!
When I was about 5 years old I believed that all of the smoke from all of the fires, chemical plants, cigarettes, etc. of the world drifted up into the sky and "became Jesus". I thought that he was like a huge cloud that floated around and just got bigger and bigger.
I had a very religous grandmother who always told me Jesus was my friend. When I was a bout 3 I got upset when my mother put her hand in the water at the end of the bath as 'Jesus, the dirty little devil' was down there. I had turned him into one of my imaginary friends. My grandmother was horrified but did lay of the 'Jesus is your friend" story for a few years
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I believed very literally my sunday school teaching that "God knows you so well, He even knows the number of hairs on your head." So, every time I brushed my hair and some hairs came out on the brush, I would silently apologize to God for giving Him something else to have to keep track of, given all the more important things He had to do...
I use to believe that when if=t was raining god was crying
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