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my sister told me that angels were always watching me, which is supposed to be comforting, but i was terrified. i had to sleep in my parents' room because i thought they were all staring at me through my bedroom windows.

little kids are stupid.

I used to believe that Jesus was crucified every year and that it was something you could go see - like a festival.

Laci

I found out pretty early that there was no such thing as santa or the tooth fairy so I thought that God was just another made up story to make me behave.

This didn't go over too well since my grandpa's a preacher.

Lissa

As a little girl, my mother took me to visit her godmother, an extremely old woman with lots of religious pictures/statures, etc. Since she was so old, and had pictures of Jesus everywhere, and I apparently mis-heard "God's mother", I truly thought she was the Blessed Mother. I was terrified of misbehaving. Even though her name was Cecilia, I figured it was a decoy so other people wouldn't mob her.

Anon

My sister told me that the Holy Spirit was just some guy that turned himself into a dove. Yeah... that was really embarrassing when my religion teacher asked us who the Holy Spirit was and I responded with that question. I was sure I was right! Thanks sis!

hifidigitalboy

When I was about 3 in the early '70s my mom and I were on a bus going to visit my grandpa. This hippie got on the bus who looked EXACTLY like Jesus! Not only that, but he had a T-shirt with a picture of Jesus on the front. As soon as he got on the bus I yelled, 'Look mommy, it's Jesus!' I thought it was pretty cool that Jesus was riding with us. Of course my mom was embarrassed.

Elaine

I once asked my young uncle how Jesus got into your heart. He said, "Through your ears". For years I covered my ears with the blanket at night as I slept.

Anon

When I was little, my mom told me God was watching me all the time. So I would spend a great deal of time just staring up at the sky waiting for a giant eyeball to open up out of it and look back at me.

Kayla

I made my first communion when I was eight. In the catechism classes we had to prepare us for it, the teachers told us that once we took communion, Jesus would live inside us forever.

So when I got home after the Mass and was just sitting around waiting for my aunts and uncles to arrive for my communion party, I was amazed to see that the skin on my chest was moving up and down slightly as if being hit from the inside. Really it was just my heart beating, but I had never noticed it before and I thought it was Jesus inside me, kicking me to let me know he was in there!

Mandi

When i was little, at church they always used to tell us that Jesus was in our heart.
So when my friend's granddad had a heart operation I asked him if they found Jesus.
I'd always imagined a little mini Jesus running around in my heart.

Becci

When I was young I hated wearing shoes, my mom used to tell us if we went to bed with our feet dirty the devil will come tickle our feet. One night I woke up yelling and screaming cause I didn't wash my feet and fell asleep. Thought the devil was coming but then my mother told me the truth since it just the dog licking my feet.

Clean feet!

When I was 7 years old, the nun in religious instructions asked the class who lived in the garden of Eden? So I proudly raised my hand and said Adam Beneve. She thought I said Adam and Eve. So she said "Right!" Then she told the story of Adam and Eve and I learned that it wasn't a man named Adam Beneve.

Annie

When I was four and somewhat Christian (I didn't know anything except the basics), I thought that there were three equal and holy people; God, Jesus and Santa Claus.

We pray to God, Jesus and the Holy Santa Claus

Once when I was probably about 3 or 4, I was at daycare where my older sister and her friend happened to mention God. I asked who God was and they told me all about a big man in the sky who created everything. For some reason, I thought of one of the Bananas in Pajamas wearing an angel costume in the sky with a glittery wand- I have no idea why! It took me years to stop picturing God as B1!!

Hail B1

When I fiirst heard about Pontious Pilate. I thought his last name was spelled "pilot". This was also compounded by the fact that this was at a time when I had not yet learned about the Wright Brothers in school and how the airplane was not invented until around the 1920's.
This made me think that Pontious was some guy that flew an airplane.

Will

I used to not know who Jesus Christ (i Dint even know he was a person) and thought his name was pronounced "Cheeses Christ". I believed that Cheeses Christ was a cheese and also something you sa ywhen you get mad. I could never figure out why someone would talk about Cheese when they are mad.

Anon

I was convinced I knew why there were no dinosaurs.
- On Noah's Ark - when they were desperate for food and thought to eat the largest animals first, they ate them all. Then they were too ashamed to include that part of the story.

JME G

As a kid I was told that 'Jesus is greater than all of us'.. So I went home and asked my mom if Jesus really was bigger than George (this really tall man in our neighborhood)

Arya

Because of all those fat Buddha images (which, by the way, don't depict the actual Buddha), I used to believe that Buddhism was all about gaining weight. Ironically, I've ended up becoming a Buddhist myself - and I'm still skinny!

Anon

As a child in Sunday School, I read in the Bible that Jesus healed people with divers diseases. What the heck kind of disease could a scuba diver get? It makes a big difference when you add the letter e to divers.

J Boyd