characters

When I was in lower school I used to brag about how I was related to Jesus... I managed to come to this conclusion because my aunty's brithday is on christmas day! This obviously means that she was Jesus' sister! I never used the ' I will get my brother to beat you up!' Oh no! I was gonna get Jesus on you!

Elle

They told me that Jesus was always beside me, so when I sat down in the car, I scooted waaaay over to the side so that Jesus would have a place to sit.

Dew

When I was little I somehow imagined God to look like Spider Man and I thought he floated in space above earth watching us.

Anon

I used to believe that God was a girl giant and that my house was the gir's dollhouse, and that i would die when the girl got bored with me.

Rachel

When I was in high school, one of the priests at our Anglican church told us in a sermon that St. John the Baptist was the original hippy. I'm sure a good many of us highschoolers believed Father Nealon for saying so. Ever since I heard him say that, I cannot help but conjure an image of a hippy when I think of St. John! ;-)

Hilary the Baker

I used to believe that God was left handed, like me. Well, he had to be, or how would he have made the world, because Jesus "sitteth on God's right hand"?

Piri

In 1st grade, my teacher told us to draw a scene from the Bible. I drew Adam, Eve and the serpent prior to the Fall from grace, and I gave the serpent legs. "Why does the serpent have legs?" my teacher asked. "Well," I answered, "as a punishment for making Eve eat from the apple, God told it "upon thy belly shalt thou go", which means that prior to man's fall the serpent did not crawl but walk."

Gmax

I used to belive that God was the sun. And mum always told me that God was among us people, so therefore I was always drawing feets on the sun. hi hi....

Anon

I used to believe that because God had a son that he must have had a wife and that because Jesus was older now, he was looking for a wife, so i thought that if i was good i could be Jesus' wife.

Beth

in our old house there was a picture of the sacred heart hanging up in the kitchen. when i was young i used to think it was a picture of The Greatest American Hero!
HE HAD A CAPE!!!!..... i was only about 4 or 5 :-(

Trish

My brother used to think that God's name was Peter, because at the end of the mass we would all say "Thanks, Peter God" (Thanks be to God)

Loody

When I was a kid, I long thought there was a girl somehow associated with Christmas, named Jo Lisa Pan. I eventually found out that I got that idea from hearing my uncle sing "Oh, Christmas Tree" in French. The French words include, "Jolis sapins, comme ils sont doux!", which means, pretty fir trees, how sweet they are. The reference to fir trees is a more literal translation of the original German than in the English version, since "Tannenbaum" means fir tree. Anyhow, I was hearing "Jolis sapins" as Jo Lisa Pan. I had fond Christmas associations with that imagined character Jo Lisa Pan, and I sort of miss her, now that her very existence even as a fantasy has been debunked for me.

Wendy

I have absolutely no idea where this came from, but I went through a phase where I imagined God to look like the genie from the Disney movie of Aladdin, with Robin William's voice and all.
I was one odd child.

Emma

When I was little, I called the Pope "the dude with the godly hat".

Jessica Tinch

I used to believe that Satan was literally underground, and me and my sisters would stomp around the front yard trying to give him a headache.

Molly S.

How could Baby Jesus be born on Dec 25th, get tall, grow a beard and then die, all by Easter. Whew!

Joe

My father came from a very religious family.

when he was younger he became so irrationaly terrified that the devil was on the right side of his room at night, that he moved all of his furniture to the left side of his room and slept with a baseball bat so that when the devil finally came over to the left side, he could kill him.

Anon

I went to a Catholic school, and right before Easter in the 4th grade we watched a movie about the crucifixion of Jesus. I was absolutely terrified because when they hammered the nails into his wrists, the kid next to me said "Ohhhh.." and made an "ouch" face. I took that to mean that any time someone hurts the inside of your wrist, you'd die. I guarded my inner wrists nonstop for the next few months.

I also thought that the guy playing Jesus really did die in the movie. That he was such a strong Christian that he thought it was worth giving up his life to show the story of what happened to Jesus. I was awfully uneasy about this, and it seemed morbid that we were watching it in school.

Anon

When I was younger, I asked my mother ' does anybody live in the clouds? ' and she replied with 'yes,God does.' So it began that everytime I seen the clouds, I would wave to them and wonder if God could see me. When a day came that there were no clouds, I began to cry because I thought he moved away.

Lynn

I used to believe God looked either Jafar from Disney's Alladin, an Indian man, or (duh) Jesus. I'm still only able to picture God as one of those. I also thought that The Antichrist was a guy who was actually shaped like 666, and not a human.

Dr. Strangeman OR: HOW I LEARNED TO STOP WORRYING AND LOVE WEIRDOS