church

In our church, a layperson would say the final prayer aloud while we all bowed our heads and closed our eyes. For years and years I thought the preacher did something magical, because when the prayer was over and we opened our eyes, he had moved from the pulpit to the back of the church. I didn't figure it out until one day when I was brave enough to open my eyes during the prayer and I saw him walk down the aisle with his eyes wide open!

Jane

ok as a kid i always went to church on sundays and one time we sat in the very back where alll the screaming babies were because my mom had just had my new sister sarah. and there were these stairs (tht i now know lead up to the balcony) in the back close to where we sat. i always used to ask my dad to take me up there but he never would and i thot tht there must be a very good reason for this. soo i started to believe that tht was the church attic with dusty old statues and that there was a door in the very back and behind that door is where God kept hell and my dad wldnt take me up there because he didnt want me to accidentaly go to hell.

mandy

every sunday wen i was a little kid my parents made me go to church and we would sit in the front pew. from the front pew u got a full veiw of the alter and there were some rocks placed next to this saying carved into the wall. i used to believe that jesus's body was underneath them and i thot our church was very special because we got to keep jesus's body.


i never paid attention in church

mandy

Well-actually this was in my synnaguge. I was about 5 or 6 and there were these stained glass windows on the walls featuring the Jewish holidays and the twelve tribes of Israel. Well there was the one of Joseph-which is represented by a tree, and because the tree had sphere shaped fruit of green, pink and purple (dispite not being an evergreen) I concluded that it was a Christmas tree. So I happily shouted "Mommy, Christmas tree!" and she told me to shush.

I still find this to be delightfully funny.

Glowworm

I never really knew much about religion outside of mine (catholic). So I used to think that if a person was Christian, they were either Catholic or "other" I had know idea about the other, though.

HannahJean

I use to think church was spelt turch because of the big T on the roof.

Anon

I used to beleive that a catacism(spelling?) was an extremely painful Christian version of a bris.

Mike

I once misunderstood a Bible verse and i thought that if I stole something or murdered someone Jesus would not forgive me and I would go to hell. So when i stole a 25cent toy from a trirft store I felt REALLY guilty and worried. Little did I know then that Jesus forgive ANYTHING.

Danielle

I used to believe that the donation money went to the pastor and he would put it in a little red envelope and then secretly he would give it to a dove and then God would get it.

Speara

When I was little church confused me. Once when I was about 3 my father carried me up to communion with him. I thought the host was a necco wafer and screamed "I want a necco wafer!" at the top of my lungs and tried to grab one out of the chalice.

I also thought that at the beginning of the Mass the priest came in and as an act of, I don't know, self mutilation or torture, he would bash his head against the altar. This was because we usually got to church late and had to sit in the back and I couldn't see clearly. Finally I asked my mother "Why does the priest have to bang his head on the table when he comes in?"

Finally I thought God's name was Harold "Our father who art in heaven, HAROLD be thy name.."

Maura

I'm jewish and when i was younger my dad tried to convince me doing the bar mitzvah telling that only oblied kids would not do it. For some time i pictured evil priests attacking little childs and taking to churches until my father said it was not like that and asked sorry for confusing my little mind.

kaiser the not so brave

Growing up Catholic, all of the churches had confessional boxes along the walls.
I used to think that the priests changed in them before Mass; if the light was on, that meant "Do Not Enter, Priest is Changing"

K.

I grew up in a religious family, with a somewhat narrow view of the world. Everyone was either a Protestant or a Catholic (those were the only options). Unfortunately, in elementary school I confused the word "Protestant" with "Prostitute" and therefore believed that if you weren't a Catholic, you were, by default, a Prostitute. I had no idea what a prostitute was, but quickly learned when I proclaimed to a group of friends that my family was prostitutes. To this day I am hoping everyone has forgotten what I said.

Believer at the Red Light Church