church

When I was about 5 we were taken to church for the first time, in Russian the word church sounds pretty similar to circus, so, I was convinced (and convinced my younger brother), that we were in a circus. When a dead person was brought in, I thought (and, again, explained to my brother) that it was a wounded person from war (what war, I wonder?), finally, when we were given the crosses and told to never show them to anybody (dad was in the Army, and those were times of the Soviet Union, being religious and, worse, going to church might cause serious trouble for him), we actually thought those were tiny swards, and we fought with them in the street, and told our friends that we were given the little swards in the circus...

Tanya

I believed going in front the church meant I was going to be married. Thus, when my mom brought our whole family up to light the advent wreath, I screamed, "I DONT WANT TO GET MARRIED" and ran off.

Anon

I used to believe in church that when the pastor prayed and everyone would close their eyes Jesus would appear. Of course I would try and peek really fast in hopes of catching him on stage or something. I still haven't seen him. I guess everyone just won't close their eyes! ;-)

Anon

I used to go to a catholic church when I was younger, and when they would pass out the baskets to take up the money, when they where done, they would go down the center isle that was closed from people going inside.

When the doors closed I thought inside was a giant machine with all these mechanical objects that buzzed, blinked and whirred , that would teleport all the money to heaven for god. The way the money got to his is by a giant light that carried the money all the way up.

Hazake

Up untill I was 14 I thought a Pedestrian was a religion I wondered why people hated Pedestrians so much that they would run them over all the time.

Kate

I used to think god is a mosque. my friends always told me god is the biggest and mosques were the biggest buildings at my little town.

cem

I went to a Catholic school and when the teachers talked about communion they told us it was "the body and blood of Jesus Christ"...I pictured Jesus in heaven (heaven located on the clouds of course) with a cheese grater (the kind that gives u slices of cheese) carving off peices of his skin for us to eat. For the wine i pictured him cutting his arm and bleeding into a cup.... I thought this was true for years...

Ashely

i used to believe that the lines said by the priest will turn one to a priest. so i cried every time i saw my dad mumbled the priest's lines during mass because i thought that will turn him into a priest and then he'll leave us forever.

erin

As a protestant growing up in a catholic school, I was not used to certain catholic customs, such a recieving first communion around the age of about 8 or 9, (second grade). While not participating, I was required to attend my classmate's communion. When I saw them walk down to the front in white dresses and little suits, I thought the school was forcing my classmates to marry each other! I had belived this until I asked my teacher why they did this. She set me straight.

Anon

When I was a teenager I only wanted to marry someone Catholic, because I wanted 6 kids. I thought Catholics liked kids more because they had so many. It wasn't until YEARS later that I understood they don't have that many kids on purpose!

No way.

Well, I'm Catholic, and I went to a private school. On Ash Wednesday, when the priest rubs some ashes on your forehead at church at the beginning of Lent, I used to think the ashes were like still on fire and burning, and that it would burn into your forehead and skull permanently and hurt. I think I was around 5 or 6, and I remember running out of the church when it was my turn to be next in line.

One a side note I also thought most people in the world were one religion.

Anon

I grew up in a pretty strict Lutheran church, and I sincerely believed that if I took communion when I was in any way spiritually unprepared, that I would be immediately shot straight through the floor down into hell to burn for all eternity. Right there, on the spot. No second chances. Only a pile of clothes and shoes would remain.

The fact that I had never observed this phenomenon didn't diminish my conviction that it was guaranteed to happen to me.

I never signed up for confirmation/first communion because I figured I wasn't stupid enough to play Russian Roulette with my immortal soul.

I still hold my breath at other people's kids' First Communions.

Anon

When I was a teenager, I asked my friend what religion she was (she had recently moved from Pakistan to Canada). She told me "Ismaili", but, not having heard of that religion before, I heard "Smiley". I rsponded, "That's so cute!" In retrospect, that came off condescending and horrible, and I'm terribly embarrassed. I sincerely hope she doesn't remember.

Naive about world religions

I used to go to CCD (Sunday School). We would sit in the church area at the beginning of it with the teachers and the priest. My friends and I would sit in the front row because we liked not having to look over people's heads, also because we felt special. (But that's not the point.) Well, the priest would stand up front and usually talk to everyone. One day I raised my hand and asked him "Where is the real Jesus?" He responded, "What?" I then said "Well, in our church, we have a fake Jesus. Where is the REAL Jesus hanging up?" He still didn't understand, got angry and ignored me.
As you can see, I was refering to in the front of churches there are the big crosses with Jesus on it (Where the priest talks and stuff). I wanted to know in what church was the real Jesus hanging up in. I had a few more thoughts about this concept. One of them being it would smell bad in that church because he would be really old and have not taken a shower in a while (not to mention, he'd be dead).
Kids are funny.

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