church

I used to believe that the priests were married to the nuns. I couldn't understand why they had no children. I alos thought the pastor could have done a lot better than mother superior.

Jim

when i was small... i used to believe that the host at church were white choclate buttons... and my cousing used to believe that it was cheese... one christmas she asked my mother if she could go up for some cheese as she was hungry...

Anon

When i was younger i went 2 church with my friend 1 sunday, l8r when i was telling my catholic neighbour about the service, after i'd finished explaining it to her i obviously hadn't mentioned some catholic ritual she was used to in her church she then informed me that this was not proper church becos they hadn't gone thru the same service she was used to, me being from completely non-religious family aged 6 had no idea that there was a difference between protestant and catholic (as far as i was concerned every1 in the world was christian!!!)i assumed she meant that the church i'd been to was all fake and that the people weren't really religious and were just making it all up like a huge game of make-believe, for the life of me i could not understant why they'd gone to all that bother, wasn't until i was MUCH older i worked out what the difference was!!!

me :P

When I was younger, we sang 'Hosanah" in church every Sunday. One Sunday I leaned over to my mom and said,"There's one thing in common about Gsarfield and Jesus. They both like Lasagna." I thought they were saying 'lasagna' but I soon found out that we were singing 'hosanah'! She laughed so hard I thought she would pee.

Katie

I thought that the 3rd commandment 'Thou shalt not take the name of Lord thy god in vain' was taking something out of the artery.

Anon

This isn't really a belief so much as a misunderstanding, really. Anyway, a long time ago, my family was at church on Christmas Eve. We were all holding fake candles with lightbulbs shaped like a candle flame, and the pastor said something like, "Now spread your light throughout the world." My sister looked up at our parents and said, "He's kidding, right? What will we use next year?"

Anon

I used to believe that if you dropped the Bible all of the words would fall out and if you didn't put them back correctly before you died, you would go to hell.

Mrs B.

I used to help out in a 2nd grade Hebrew class that was way out of control. The teacher asked the class if anyone knew when we celebrated Shabbat and one of the boys raised his hand and said "December."

Anon

I grew up in a religious family, with a somewhat narrow view of the world. Everyone was either a Protestant or a Catholic (those were the only options). Unfortunately, in elementary school I confused the word "Protestant" with "Prostitute" and therefore believed that if you weren't a Catholic, you were, by default, a Prostitute. I had no idea what a prostitute was, but quickly learned when I proclaimed to a group of friends that my family was prostitutes. To this day I am hoping everyone has forgotten what I said.

Believer at the Red Light Church

i didnt used to realize that there were different religons. i just thought all churches were the same. i used to ask my mom why the heck we drove a half hour to church when there was one just down the street!

Audrey

When I was small and the priest would read out the intentions for masses for the coming week, I used to think that the people he was talking about were so huge (people of giant spider proportions!) that they had to have the whole church to themselves!

Mary

i was raised a jehovah's witness and therefore never celebrated holidays. my parents were very vague on their reasoning for this and never really explained it to me that well, so i had the idea that christmas was actually a day that christians worshipped the devil on accident (he tricked them into it). one day i was visiting my cousin and she had a baby doll that i wanted to play with but she wouldnt let me and said it was because she just got it for christmas. i then FLIPPED OUT screaming and crying that she had to throw it away because "satan tricked her and hid a demon in it".

tatamara

When I was around 3 my parents took me to a very loud classical concert and I spent the whole time in a state of terror because I had recently learned the biblical story about Joshua abd the walls falling down and I was sure the hall would collapse and squash us!

Anon

When I was little I was told in church that the Devil controls the water, so we could never go swimming in our backyard on Sundays. For some reason it was fine the rest of the week!

Juliet

Once we went to church we were going to give money when they passed around the collection box. I cried and sceamed so bad because I wanted the money my selfe.
I didnt really understand the whole thing of shearing!

Tim_Norway

Actually - I had this belief up until I was 20...

You know those bumper stickers that say "My boss is a Jewish Carpenter"? Well, I could never figure out why there were so many carpenters in the world, but why it took so long to build things. I also couldn't figure out why they just didn't say, "I'm a carpenter". I also had thoughts of "Big deal! My boss is a sadistic workaholic!"

Boy I felt like an idiot when I figured it out!

Surprisingly not a heathen...

I used to believe that all nuns were men when I was 4 years old.

SS

Going to parochial school from 1st-4th grade I used to believe kids who attended public school didn't believe in God. Nevermind that I attended kindergarten in public school.

It wasn't until I attended public school in the 5th grade and I met a kid who I saw in church every Sunday that the belief changed.... I still remember asking him "Hey what are you doing here?!"

Rey

Our grade 2 class did First Communion, and all the girls and boys walked down the aisle in church in pairs. I assumed that the boy I was partnered with was the one I was supposed to marry later on.

Anon

I remember hearing in church that we are all sinners and Jesus had to die to save us. I felt so bad and wracked my 7 yr old brain trying to remember what I had done that was so bad it killed Jesus.

Julianne