church
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In Catholic church as a kid, when everyone shook hands and said, "Peace be with you", I believed they were saying "Pleased to meet you". So that's what I said until my dad corrected me. Opps.
When I was little and was getting my first communion, they told me Jesus was in the tabernacle (the thing behind the altar where they keep the hoast) little did I know they ment the host was in it, for years I thought Jesus was alive and they were hiding him in there.
I used to believe that when people get bapitized, their soul get snatched up by god into heaven. And what's left on earth are just puppets controlled by angels to keep me company until I get baptized. So when all my family except me were converted, I started wondering if I should join them in heaven or wait a few years. (after all, the puppets were perfectly good companies) My baptism was as disappointing as my first orgasm.
when the priest would hold up the eucharist and you could hear bells, i always thought that the eucharist made the sound itself. i didn't know that altar servers rang the bells.
I wondered why when the eucharist is raised a bell would be rang, so I asked my mom right after it happened one day in mass. She leaned over and whispered in my ear that it meant I had to keep totally still and stop talking. For a couple years, everytime I heard the bell I would freeze. Then when I went to catacism and the teacher asked what the bells represented, I raised my hand and proudly said, "it means you can't move." the whole class just laughed....I didn't even hear the real answer because I was so confused that wasn't the real reason.
I used to believe that Sunday School was an ordinary, long school day for children of religious parents. This lead to an embarrassing situation where I showed pity for a friend who attended Sunday School, saying it was a shame that he only got one day off of school a week.
When I was young our family went to church every sunday.And every sunday the whole church said there prayers.there was a part wich was "pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death"I thought that everyone was praying for my family.I finaly ask and till this day i still get teased about it.
I used to believe that at sunset the world was going to be destroyed by fire. Our pastor was a fire and brimstone type and he had me so cinvinced that Christ was comm\ing any second. I was 16 before I could sit and watch a sunset.
They showed a lot of rapture movies at my church when I was in high-school. For a couple of years I was really disappointed because I was totally and completely convinced that we were going to be raptured before I would have a chance to get married and have a family.
When, in a Roman Catholic Sunday service the alter-boy rang a bell to signify "altering-of-water-to-wine", I believed that it was actually a MAGIC sound from God Himself.
It wasnt until I grew up (and luckily became an athiest) that I learned otherwise.
When I was little, and was taken to church on a communion Sunday, the trays of juice and bread were always covered with a white sheet, resulting in a large mound in the middle of the table. I always thought that there was a pregnant woman laying underneath the sheet and we were going to see her have the baby right there.
A friend of mine recently told me of her first church experience:
When everything was over the pastor was walking around talking to the people and he came upon Anna, who was at the time very young. He found out that it was her first ever time to church.
Pastor: How did you like the service?
Anna: The music was nice, but the commercials were too long.
I remember hearing in church that we should follow in God's footsetps. Walking with my grandfather in the snow i asked him if i followed his footprints in the snow, was that the same thing.
My sister once asked me why is a nun calle "the bride of Jesus" and since there are lots of nuns, not only one, does it mean that Jesus keeps a harem.
I used to think that my parents loved me more than their other children beacuase they named after God. Every week in church we said "Thanks, Peter Go". Imagine my disappointment when I finally realized (age 6 or 7?) that it was "Thanks be to God." Bummer
Well, I'm Catholic, and I went to a private school. On Ash Wednesday, when the priest rubs some ashes on your forehead at church at the beginning of Lent, I used to think the ashes were like still on fire and burning, and that it would burn into your forehead and skull permanently and hurt. I think I was around 5 or 6, and I remember running out of the church when it was my turn to be next in line.
One a side note I also thought most people in the world were one religion.
As a young child attending Catholic church, I noticed that at the non-Catholic church down the street, two men would roll out a heavily-weighted sign to the middle of the road on Sunday. I thought the sign said "Stop for Protestants". Later, when my reading skills improved, I realized the sign said "Stop for Pedestrians".
When I was about four, I thought you could only be Christian or Jewish. Jews, I believed, were simply people who didn't believe in God. My mother told me that my father didn't believe in God, so I asked her one day, "is Daddy Jewish?" She was very confused and told me "no, he's an atheist." This was my first exposure to the term.
I was told from time to time that the Bible says you shouldn't swear, which I took to mean that you shouldn't swear oaths. I thought that pinky-swearing was inherently sinful and dangerous.
I read a book about different religions. When it talked about Christianity, it said "Baptists are Christians." I had heard that my family was Christian when I mentioned Christmas. I used to believe that the book meant all Christians were Baptists, and that my family and I were also Baptist. We were actually Methodist.
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