teachers

when i was younger i used to believe that when i was in assembly and i thought bad things the teachers would see it in a speech bubble above my head !

C

When I was in preschool (3 or 4), we used to have a gym that we used an old dark staircase to get to. The teachers didn't want us to fall so they sang a song about keeping your hand on the railing. It went to the tune of "if you're happy and you know it" except the words were "keep your hand on the railing on the wall". My child brain thought that they were telling you to put your hand on the railing and then put it on the wall. So I was constantly switching between railing and wall. I only recently realized that they meant that the railing was on the wall.

Anon

My first-grade teacher always used to wear either dress pants or long skirts. When my mom and I were out grocery shopping one day and saw her at the store, however, she was wearing shorts. I said to my mom, "Wow, Mrs. T. actually has legs!"

L.J. in NY

i used to believe that mississippiora was my kindergarten teacher's first name. turns out she just married a guy named sippiora...

Donna

in the first grades I used to believe that my teacher didn't sleep, go to the bathroom, eat, have family or kids, have home. It was a sensation when I discovered that she was a human being like me. I couldn't come out of the shock for several weeks.

Liosurg

One day when I was nine I really annoyed my mother. She told me then that she did not know how my teacher could stand being around thirty third-graders all day; if she were a teacher there would have to be a keg in the teacher's lounge. I got curious and asked my teacher the next day if there really WAS a keg in the teacher's lounge. The next parent-teacher conference was not pleasant.

Anon

I thought teachers knew absolutely everything there was to know!
I also stared at the back of their heads for hours, looking for the eyes.

M

whenever i was mad at one of my teachers i'd draw pictures of them puking and shitting all over the place because that was the most humiliating thing i could imagine, and for some reason i believed that my drawing this would make it happen for real.

SJ

When I was in Primary School I had a teacher that all of knew didn't like kids or for that matter being a teacher. One day he came in and said: hand up all the Catholics in the class(3 x put a hand up) and he told us 8 year olds that we were to blame for all the murders and killings in Northern Ireland. I went home from my school in Australia and asked my parents when the Hell were they in Ireland and why had they never told ME that they had traveled abroad let alone murdered people for nothing. This same teacher's measurement class involved him coming and slamming books down saying "there are 12 inches in a foot" Later he just said" "there are three feet in a yard" and i spent a whole weekend pacing out our back-yard trying to work the statement out because there was definitely MORE than three foot(lengths) in my yard alone - let alone the houses with biogger yards!!! I even tried wearing my father's shoes when measuring things out as the teacher's calculations might have been done with 'grown-ups' shoes on

meg

Sometimes at school, the teachers would say things I hadn't told them and would say things like "a little bird told me you're getting a cat" and stuff. I thought it was because they were psychic, but in reality they'd been passing notes with my parents.

Anon

I got in trouble once in school for rolling my eyes around while the teacher was talking. She told me that I was unscrewing my eyeballs and if I wasn't careful they would fall out. I got sent to the principals office after that - I was afraid after what my teacher told me- so of course I screwed my eyes around the other way...

onetwistedkitty

My mother is a teacher and when she was sick she once said she was ordering a sub (substitute) i thought it was a sandwich and exclamed "I want one to!"

sub

As a kid (and up until I was about 11) I believed that teachers were not actually allowed to have kids of their own. No idea where this came from or why it lasted so long. (I'm now a teacher!!)

Fay

Raised as an only child, I used big words for my age and usually got the meaning right. However in 1st grade, I came home and told my parents that I had a prostitute teacher that day! My parents didn't set me straight, when I reached 4th grade I'm sure they wish they had. I insulted their company in when I found out the woman was a "substitute", I refused to sit by her and asked my parents why they would lask a woman who sold her body, to dinner. I got set straight that night!!!

farmdog13

An elementary school nearby has a great big rock on the edge of the playground. The kids aren't allowed to climb on it, but of course everyone wants to, so some of the teachers call it "the poison rock," implying that if you touch it you will be poisoned. Other teachers refuse to go along with this ruse, so the kids all argue about whether the rock is poisonous, and they run and touch it if they're feeling really lucky...

playground designers should've consulted the teachers first

when i was young i thought that teachers were like witches ..they just teach and go away somewhere and return back to teach....i thought that they had no life....heheh

prettylife

I was in 2nd grade when the Challenger Space Shuttle exploded. I was in the office pretending to be sick when everyone started freaking out I only heard snippets of their conversation but concluded that the teacher on board was MY teacher since she wasn't at school that day. I wasn't sad about her though, I hated her. Mrs. Garfield if your reading this...you made my life hell.

Sad little girl

When I first started secondary school, our form teacher introduced us to our Head of Year, and told us that as long as you kept on the right side of him he was fine, but he could get rather awkward if you got on the wrong side of him. I was 11 then, and even at that age I thought that meant he preferred you to walk on his right-hand or left-hand side!

Alan, Sheffield

My brother told me when I was four (he's six years older than me) that during nap time his teacher would walk around with a board with nails in it. She would hold the board close to your face to see if you were sleeping. So when I started school I believed the same thing and would never let myself fall asleep during nap time. My brother is 30 now, and still says it really happened. I still kind of believe him.

Anon

I used to believe that teachers cut off student's fingers with the fans they kept in the front of the classroom if they were caught using them for addition.

Chaz