condoms

When I was 11, my best friend told me that lesbians have sex with condoms filled with cheese. I eventually realized that this was not a common practice of any sexual orientation and I have often wondered where she obtained this information in the first place.

AngryKatie

I used to believe that sex was only for reproduction, and that condoms were a way to prevent AIDS without preventing conception. A filter would let the sperm through, but not the virus.

I found a box of condoms in a bag my parents had brought home from the drug store. I confronted Mom about it, demanding to know which one of them had AIDS and why they wanted a new baby anyway.

She told me the condoms were a joke gift for their friends and didn't correct any of my confusion.

Anon

when i was about 5 or 6 my friend jason (who was probably about 10 or 11) i told me that condoms "stopped women having babies" when i asked him about one that was lying in the gutter.

for a good few years this explanation was interpreted by me as meaning that pregnant women used condoms to stop themselves giving birth by inserting one into their vagina and the condom somehow "catching" the baby. i thought it made sense, ie. if they were out shopping and having a baby was inconvenient, pop one in, problem solved.

munkster

I used to beleive a condom was to prevent you from peeing inside the woman, which would cause her to inflate.

Anon

I can still remember my Dad shouting at my brother to hide his porno mags properly in his bedroom and get rid of those dirty "french letters" (condoms). I spent ages trying to figure out who was writing to my brother from France !

Adam

I used to believe that condoms were devices that elderly men donned, before enjoying a few pints at the pub, to soak up any urine leakage.

That was because my dad told me so.

boadledotcom

When I was five, my three year old brother and I had found our father's box of special ballons, in his dresser. One day, Mom seemed particularily worried and frazzled, and announced that the banker was coming to meet with our family about backing us with a loan to get us through a rough season. It was essential that the house be clean and us children scrubbed, and on our best behavior. Given there were six of us, Mom lost track and my brother and I were on our own, as usual. We decided to help and decorated the kitchen and living room with Dad's Special Ballons while he and Mom showed the Banker around the farm before lunch. The adults didn't notice our hard work, until after they had come in, sat down and in the middle of grace my mother let out a scream that could be heard, I am sure, miles away.

Sandy Welch

When I was younger (about ten), my parents (they were bikers at the time) used to take me to this bar on the weekends with them, there was a video game area I could play in with the other kids. In the bathroom they had a condom dispenser with one product called a "french tickler". I thought this was the funniest thing, but had no idea what it was. When Christmas rolled around, I was in our living room with my parents and older brother. We were listening to holiday music, and I was singing along to the Twelve Days of Christmas. Instead of saying "Three french hens.", I thought it would be funny to blurt out "Three french ticklers!" My brother started laughing, and I was grounded without any explanation of what a french tickler was.

RyDawg

Well when I was little around the age of 6 me and my friend we were so creative with making stuff, we would always make things for our barbies. Well it was "prom night" for the barbies and we needed music, so I was about to put a tape in when the casset had a package in it(My brother would hide stuff in my room,who thinks to look in a little girls room, right!?). I was surprised, so we put it aside and after the "prom" the barbies all went camping thats when i got bored sicne my friend was driving the barbies, so i opened the small package, out came what i believed was a "sleeping bag" for my barbie! I was so excited we used it for the camping trip but only for about 10 mins when my brother came to check on us. He saw what we had and what we were doing and he just laughed. It was explained later to me what it was. My friend's have an hilarious fit everytime I tell them my incident with condoms.

Allison H.

when my mate was in playschool they were asked to bring in somthing red and she found a red condom in her parent room and she took it in and told every 1 that it was a clowns bollon then the teacher took it off her

brittany clayton

I was out for a meal on my birthday with my two young sons and my husband. It was just before xmas and the restaurant was full.We were enjoying a meal but the music was loud, my 5 yr old son wanted the toilet so my husband took him. When they came back my son was trying to tell me somwthing, it was hard to hear due to the noise,. I asked him to speak up, so he shouted at the top of his voice ( just as the music went off) " I DIDNT THINK DADDY LIKED CHEWING GUM!, BUT HES BOUGHT SOME OUT OF THE MACHINE IN THE TOILETS, HE SAID ITS FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY!" Needless to say i was on the floor laughing and so was the rest of the restaurant, we also got a round of applause and a happy birthday song!

TT

In Sex Ed. in 5th grade, one day someone mentioned condoms, and the teacher said she would bring one in tomorrow.

The next day, the girl in our class who had been held back was telling everyone about how last year the condom had "popped off" the cucumber being used fot the demonstration. I, being innocent and having no idea what a condom was, immediately assumed it was some sort of explosive device.

When the teacher begain the demonstration, I inched my chair backwards to avoid being caught in the line of fire. When I reallized what a condom actually was, I felt silly.

The funny thing is, I was in another sex ed. class a few years later and, when we were given a condom demonstration again, I found I was still afraid of them.

Anne S.

when i was about eight my brother showed me a condom and he blew it up. so ofcourse i thought it was a balloon
and when he gave it to me i took it into my dad and said look a balloon.
He was so embarresed when he had to explain to me what it was. I really hated my brother after that.

Kerrys

I used to masturbate when I was real young (I guess I didn't really know what it was, something to do with sex, and it felt good) and when I first learned about AIDS and HIV, and that you could catch it without using condoms I freaked, thinking that *I* might have AIDS cos I had "sex" or whatever and didn't use protection! Now of course I know all about it... I think....

Safe Sex

When I was younger I was watching the first Austin Powers and I asked my mom what a condom was. She told me it was a balloon that a man puts on his tool to keep the woman from getting pregnant. Little did I know this "balloon" wasn't supposed to be inflated. Wow was that naive. For years I wondered how a man fit his tool in a woman with a big balloon on it.

Anon

my neighbor and i were playing barbie dolls at her house. i only had a couple, and only one ken, so we always played with her ken dolls. my barbie and her barbie were talking because they were about to go out on "dates" with some foxy kens, and her doll asked me if i had "taken my condoms yet". i had no idea what she was talking about, so she told me that condoms were pills you had to take before you went on dates. i really didnt think much of this...

Kate

when i was younger i found a condom and came to the comnclusion that it was used as a raincoat by caterpillars.

kimberly vickers, uk

I watched a lot of cartoons as a kid, and some of the older cartoons make references to "rubbers." I always thought they meant rubber galoshes, so when a cousin finally explained that men wore rubbers during sex, I couldn't help but wonder what use galoshes were.

Cyan

Some moron stuck an unwrapped, still rolled condom in my lunch box in middle school. I knew what they were, theoretically, but didn't realize they came lubricated. I concluded that this one, being all slimy, was used. Along with being completely grossed out, I decided that guys must have to roll them back off like pantyhose when they were done. I didn't get straightened out on this until almost my 21st birthday. :)

T

I had a teenage cousin that I thought was the coolest guy in the world. He had a poster on the back of his door showing a woman in a nurses uniform holding an unrolled condom (I think it was an ad poster to convince people to use condoms).

Anyway, my mother is a nurse and I immediately thought that to use a condom it had to be put on you by a nurse!

Christopher