condoms

Once, as a teenager I had my cousins over. As they were snooping in my room they found a few condoms I had picked up from a concert earlier in the year. My 9 year old cousin looked at it puzzlingly and said " OH, I know what these are! These are those wee-wee protectors aren't they? To hold in the white stuff?" I couldn't help but laugh.

Rob Dozois

When I was little, I thought a condom was a hotdog cooker. Well one day I decided to put a hotdog in the condom, and the condom in the microwave. Lets just say heat and rubber don't mix well.( the plastic stuff melted.)

Ti

one time when i was little (4-5) i was searching for x-mas presents and in my dads drawer i found a box of condoms i imediatly thought they were ballons and took them to my dad to blow them up for me. He told me they are special ballons for mummys and daddys.
for the next 2 years or so i thought all parents trained to be ballon art sculptors. and unfortunatly i asked my dad to make a horse for me out of one of them. i still shudder every now and them

one warped guy

I had a friend who sang a song that included the line 'stick your willy in a condom'. I knew about willies, but not condoms, so when I got home I looked it up in the dictionary, and somehow read the definition for 'condor' (I assume), so for years I thought that's what men had to do. Like, every day.

Anon

when i was about 7 or 8, i went in my brother's room, and he was around 19...and i found this box, with Lots of condoms in it...packed in their rappers...and i opened one, and i blew it up..and i ran around the house shaking it, and holding it up high..i was very proud of my red balloon..i remember it was red...and then my dad came, and took it away from me. later he told my brother something..and then my bro didn't talk to me for 1 full day

Alexandra

i used to believe that a condom was a body part. In elementary school, one of the boys said that there was a condom on the floor so i thought that some kid lost it and had to be rushed to the hospital.

Erin

When I was 9y.o. I found an extra large clear balloon in a foil packet in my parents bedroom and thought I'd show off my brilliant find to everyone on my school bus.
Sure enough my friends were impressed until some 12y.o. told everyone on the bus what it really was. I was so embarassed, got off the bus crying and ran home.

To make matters worse the next day the headmaster took the 12yo boy out of class to apologise to me, HOW EMBARASSING AGAIN!!!

Scaussie

When I was 6, I saw a condom on the ground in my neighborhood and my friends told me and my sister not to touch it. Somehow I believed that a condom was a "kingdom" where little people lived, and I wasn't allowed to touch it because I might kill the little civilians who lived in the "kingdom". I brought it up about ten years later, only to find that my sister believed the same thing.

.............

When I was nine, I found some condoms in my aunt's bedroom. My cousin and I played with them like balloons (Couldn't figure out why they tasted so funny), even though I knew they were for adults. I unrolled one and told my cousin (pointing to the well at the end)that the woman would put them on her breasts so that the man would not get any milk in his mouth.

Lilly

When i was about 6 my mum and me were sitting on a park bench and i a used condom on the floor, but i thought it was a balloon so i said 'i think some one's had a party here' my mam looked at me shocked because she thought i was using a euphamism for sex before i said 'because theres a balloon on the floor'. i think she was relieved.

Anon

When I was little I used to look at the pictures on some of the comdom boxes and I saw girls in cowgirl outfits and swimsuits and things that said "for the best pleasure!" I used to think that it was an outfit inside the little box and they were called comdom outfits, like a signiture brand, like victoria secret and made all the people like you. Later I found what was in the box and I thought it was like a bath toy that tasted funny to teach you not to chew on things...

Chelly

When I was about 6 I went into a hotel toilet with my mother. It was a fairly posh place and they had bowls set up on the counter next to the plants. The bowls held very nicely wrapped complimentary condoms. With the sweet tooth I still have I immediately thought they were sweets and proceeded to nearly empty one of the bowls into my pocket. Later on while we were driving in the car I whip out one of my lollies and start to unwrap it excited for the free sweets I'd found. My mother nearly had a heart attack then almost died of laughter.

Kitty

I remember my boyfriend telling me that when he was little (about 6) he thought that a condom was a round creature with little spikes all over it. One time when he was playng on the park some other kid was mean to him so he called him a condom, he parents took him home straight away to show him exactly what a condom was lol.

Anon

Ok here is the story....when i was about 6 my mom had two condoms in her purse....i foud them and took them out. i had no clue what they were so i open the package. I went to my mom (she was sleep) "Mom can i blow up your balloons?" she mumbled "Yea sure whatever just leave me alone" I was a happy little somebody for a minute. I put my mouth on it and noticed it had a peppermint flavor. Yes, it was peppermint!!!!!!!! I licked it all over and blew it up. 1 hour later my mom sees the comdom package on the floor and i had an older sister she thought it was her she came yelling "What is this" i get up and show her the ballon I blew up "Mommy, Moommy i blew up your balloon. She laughs until this day.........

To Embarrassed To Tell The Story....Necey

My friend didn't know what a condom was, (he thought it was some sort of candy), so one day he told his mom, "When you go to the grocery store, could you get me some mint-flavored condoms?" You should have seen the look on his mom's face...

Minty

I used to think that some men wore condoms all the time instead of underwear - Like some men wore briefs, some wore boxers, some wore condoms. I also assumed there was a hole in the tip of it so they could go to the bathroom without taking it off.

F

When I was five, I saw a used condom in the park. Since there were quite a lot of trees in that particular spot in the park, I also thought that there must have been snakes living there. Putting two and two together, I concluded that condoms were worn by snakes to keep their tails warm, and felt sorry for the poor unfortunate snake that had lost his tail-warmer...

Sam

When I was little, I found a box of condoms in my parent's bedroom drawers. For some reason I thought it was a pack of cigarattes, and I thought my parents smoked, to my great horror! So the next day I whispered to my sister secretly, sis ...I think mommy or daddy smokes ... Mom overheard us and asked me why would I think that and i said I found the cigarattes in their bedroom. Confused, she asked me to show it to her ..which I did. She snatched them from my hands and just told me quickly they aren't cigarattes ...but never explained what they are. I believed they smoke until a few years ago, talk about embarassment!

Mika

I used to believe that condom machine dispener in restroom at gas station was candy machine that dispenses special rubber candy called "Durex". I brought one and put the red, cherry flavored condom in my mouth. It tasted so good and I chewed for a bit then swallowed it. Years later after I learned what condoms are, I was in a shock that I ate one!

Brent

When I was 14 I found the rubber finger bandage (that you roll it on your wounded finger to keep bacteria out) in the first-aid kit. I thought they were mini-condoms for men with small penises. I was angry at my 55 years old parents for still having sex at that age. I stomped out of the bathroom with a bunch of those in my hands and told them "I know what these are! I'm throwing those mini-condoms away!" My mom took a really good laugh and told me they are just for her injuried fingers!

Tatiana