giving birth

when i was small my friend told me that lesbians can have kids but the kid can only be a girl and her skin will be pink and gays can have a boy and his skin will be blue and i kind a believed her...

liz

When I was little I believed that the mother vomited the baby.

Anon

As a child, I'd always known that a baby grows inside a mom's "belly."

When I turned four, my parents concieved a third child.

I always thought that the baby grew inside the stomach, and just ate whatever mom did.

Well, eventually food leaves the body, and so should the baby... but both were to come out the same hole... the butt.

Everytime my mom would poop, I'd have to watch her and make sure she didn't have my brother then and there.

During the real birth of my brother, my other brother and I were sent to our grandma's house, where our new brother had "sent" us toys to play with while we waited for dad to take us back home.

I remember that day so clearly, and the one thought that prevailed in my head; "I hope she goes to the bathroom right away... she'll probably need a diaper... I know I would." ((and that was what adult diapers were for.))

The Ever-Concerned Sister

when I was really little, my mom told me that babies came from eggs. I had an image in my mind of a giant chicken egg, thus why a pregnant lady's stomach was so round. I asked her if my shell was hard or soft, did the yolk spill when the doctor cracked it.

Anon

I used to believe that Test Tube Babies were babies that were born with problems, and they had to run Tests to make sure the babies tube was working properly.

Bob

I used to think that when a women gave birth that you would sit up on a tabele, life up your shirt, and the doctors would cut a circle in your stomach and then the baby would climb out of her stomach, then the doctor would simply just place the peice of the moms belly back on and it would be back to normal.

Anon

I used to think that babies actually grew in your stomach and i always wondered why they didn't get digested and pooed out. I believed this until i was about 8 years old.

Jordan

I used to believe that Labor Day was when all women had their babies!

Taralyn

i used to think when you had an orgasm you were giving birth

splooger

I used to believe that babies came out of my belly button and i was always really facinated by how such a big thing as a baby can come out from a little button hole

yossi

I really used to believe that a C-section was another name for natural birth. My mom had a C-section for me and another for my brother and she used to show us the small scar and tell "you came out of here, the doc cut my belly and I had you first and then your brother".

I believed this until I was 14, when (at school) they showed a video of a natural birth. I was totally scared and couldn't imagine how can a baby the size of a watermellon could come out of that small hole. I called my mom begging her to go home and throwed up for days.

Still scared of natural births!

Fernanda

when i was born i was a difficult birth and i came out rear first. one day when i was old enough to wonder about such things, i asked my mother about my birth, she told me that the doctors had to pull me out with forceps. for years after that i wejt round telling everyone i had been given FALSE HIPS :)

tekkyjim

i used to think that when a baby was ready to be born, the doctor pulled it out through the mother's bellybutton. kind of like how a clown pulled tied-together scarves out of their pocket or sleeve.

amy

I used to think that babies came through your stomachs. Like a hole would just open up in your belly and out comes the baby.

Anon

When we were little, my sister always wondered how women had babies. I would just tell her that they came out of mommy, just like she did.

A few weeks ago, she finally admitted to thinking that a mommy un-velcroed her stomach and just pulled the baby out once her belly button had popped out. (That was the sign of the baby being ready to come out.)

Now that she's older, she finally knows the difference. haha.

Steph

When I was about 6 or 7, I still had a vague idea that babies came from their mommy's tummy, but I had no clue as to how they got there in the first place, or how they got out. Then I saw a TV program that showed footage of a cat giving birth. I went to my Mom and proudly announced that I now knew how babies are born. Curious (and nervous), she asked me how. I proudly announced with a big smile that "the mother POOPS them out!" Well, she laughed so hard she almost s--t a brick herself, and when she finally calmed down, she carefully and gently explained the concept of there being more than one orifice in the female body....

Anon

Until I was 11 or 12, I would look at our neighborhood granny, and then at her adult son - perhaps he was in his thirties then - and I would wonder how she was able to give birth to such a big baby! It never occurred to me that he was born tiny, and grew up to be a big man!

Shyam Bhandari