periods

When I was 5 or 6, I thought that my Mom's 'panty liners' were meant to be stuck on her hips, in order to cushion against the effect of the elastic in the waste band rubbing against and iritating her skin.

Matthew - Toronto

When I was about eight i found a tampon in my mothers purse, i was confused on what it was and took it, about two weeks after that I got a bloody nose...using all common sense i had(which wasnt much) i took the tampon and shoved it up my nose to stop the bleeding. I left it in there for several hours until my father got home and saw me on the couch, lying there with a tampon in my nose. He still laughs with my mom about it to this day!

Nose Picker

I used to chat to my little brother about what to expect when he got his first period. I actually had him worried for awhile that he hadn't begun menstruating yet we he was about 10. My mom wasn't pleased. Best prank I ever pulled on him, though.

Anon

when i was little i was discovering the bathroom when i came accross a box which said "tampax" i wondered what they were, so i ran down stairs and asked my mum, cos mums know everything and never lie, she said its for when people have nose bleeds, well next time i had a nose bleed i ran upstairs a shoved the whole thing (applicator and all) straight up my nose then went and told my whole family who were downstairs eating dinner!

Martin

I saw a commercial for tampons when I was little, and it was a mysterious thing to me. I asked my mother what all of it meant and she simply replied, "You'll find out when you're older, when you become a young woman." I remembered the package in the commercial and saw it in my mother's bedroom one day. I opened it and saw the wrapped up tampons. I was utterly mystified. My cousin was having her 14th birthday around that time and I overheard my mother saying, "Kelly is turning into a beautiful young woman" I decided to make her a card and thought the best thing to draw on the card were those little tampons I had seen. I drew them all over the card. When the birthday rolled around and she opened my card, she looked very confused. I had written "You're a woman now!" on the card, surrounded by flying tampons. It was a very very embarassing day and I didn't understand why everyone thought I was rude.

Easily Amused

This isn't really mine, but one day i was running around in the park babysitting a kid when suddenly, a tampon flew out of my purse. I was immensely embarrassed as she unwrapped it, looked stunned and yelled, "Juliet, why do you carry dynomite in your purse???!!!!"

i cracked up so hard i forgot to be embarrassed.

Juliet

When I was ten years old I began my mentrual period. I had been riding my brother's bike and when I flew off a curb, I went home and went to the bathroom and saw the blood so I thought I had an injury. No-one was home except my older brother and I. He was 12 and I was 10. He told me to put a bandaid on it. I told him , but I am bleeding "down there" He then said Ohhh I think you better tell mom when she gets home so she can get you some of those big badaides for "down there". What a nutty pair we were.

Just a little innocent one

One time when i was little, i saw a tampon machine at a rest-area bathroom. I used to believe that a tampon machine was an adult candy machine with candy bars that only adults eat [that explains the plain-looking wrappers]. So one day i brought a quarter in to the bathroom with me, so i could try this "adult candy" and look mature eating it. I put in the quarter and out came the "candy bar." I opened it up and remebered seeing one in the trashcan in one of the stalls, and i thought "I guess cherry isn't a very good flavor!" XD
So, i took it in the car with me and showed it to my sister [who was the same age]. I told her what it was, and we thought it didn't really look very tasty ... but my sis said it could be cotton candy! So i tried to bite it, and that's when my mom came in. Hehe ...

-^.^-

When I was younger, I got the whole facts of life talk off of my mother along with a side lecture on PMS. I didn't quite understand what she meant and was completely convinced that whenever my mum was annoyed with me or my brother, it was the "time of the month."

I distinctively remember a time when my mum told me off in front of a group of family friends and I turned round and announced in front of all of them, "It's ok, it's just the time of the month." Oops.

Sara

Up until I was 9, and taught better, I thought a sanitary pad was for office women who were too busy to go to the toilet so they just peed into their pads, yes, like a nappy.
Imagine my amazement when I found out what a tampon did. I didn't even know I had a hole there. I used to pull the string on tampons, thinking it would turn into a mini umbrella like those in cocktail drinks.

Nerida

My 10 year old brother once confronted me and threatened to go to mum and dad to tell on me.....?
He had found a tampax in my tent when we were camping one time and although he didn't know what it was he was certain it was for grown-ups only and I was in deep trouble!

Yvonne Welling

A little disgusting, but...

When I was about 8, my mother had just recently given me the good old puberty education, including the joys of having my very own period. One of the things I learned is that girls had periods so that they could pass their unfertilized eggs out of their bodies. Well, one day, I took a shower and she went to the bathroom, so she didn't flush (poor plumbing, thus I would have been burned by scalding hot water). When I got out to dry, I peeked in the toilet and saw it was red inside - plus there was this really big dark thing! For days, I was in a panic about having my period, because I didn't want to pass that HUGE thing through you know where!

... then I realized it was poo I had seen, and not some huge unfertilized egg. I was so relieved to learn that the eggs were microscopic...

Sorry Mom :)

When I was 10-13, my dad decided it was time to tell me about my period. Not wanting to go into detail (or maybe he didn't know?), he just said, and I quote, "One day, you'll pee, and it'll be red, and that's your period." That's all he said. So I had to figure some stuff out on my own...

I knew periods were red, but on the tampon comercials, the stuff they pour on the tampons is blue! So I reasoned that the blue came from the horrible "cramps" everyone was talking about. But why were cramps so bad? Because they are little balls (about an inch in diamiter), that are covered in spikes. The period tries to push the cramp out (one cramp a month), but it gets stuck in the, uh, pee-hole, because it's too big to fit through. The spikes are then pressed into your body, which hurts, until the period is too strong to be held back, and it breaks the cramp open so it can get disolved back into the body. Inside the cramp is the blue stuff, which then comes out with the "red pee".

It wasn't until I was 15, when I got my period, that I realized just how wrong I was... Oh, and my dad denies that he ever called a period "red pee".

It's a wonder I'm not a mental case...

When I was around 8, before I ever had "The Talk", my Aunt was expecting. We were at a picnic and she had a mis-carriage, but it looked like her period to me. Everyone wa stalking about her having a mis-carriage and losing her baby. When I had my first one, I screamed for my mother and told her I had a mis-carriage. She laughed so hard she fell down, and finally explained it to me. I was 13 before I finally learned the truth.

(Not mine)
My friends' mother use to call having her period "When the river runs red". My friend lived next to a small stream, and use to watch it everyday to see when she'd have hers.

Anon.

I used to believe that pads were shoe inserts. They were the right shape and they looked comfortable enough...

DJ

When I was younger, I was riding the bus home from school and a girl started talking about periods with another girl and since I didn't know what they were just yet, I asked where the blood came out and I thought she said "your titties". For a while, I was so scared that it was going to come out of my breasts and everybody would see the stains on my shirt! About a year later, we were going to have to watch a puberty video at school. My mom was talking to me about it and she kept talking about the process going on in the stomach. So I asked "does the blood go up a tube to your boobs or something?" You can guess that she gave me quite a strange look and said "what are you talking about?" And I told her what I heard and she just laughed at me and explained menstration the proper way. Needless to say, I was a bit embarrassed about the whole situation...

Caitie

My friends son thought tampons were for mufflers for women so that they wouldn't fart.

Anon

i used to belive that my moms tampons were air fresheners. They has little flowers on the wrapper, so i thought that meant they smelled like flowers, so i used to open them up and wave them around the air and then just throw them away.

Becky

When I was about 8, mom told me to clean down there really well. So I did. and I pretty quickly figured out how to masturbate. The first time I had an orgasm, I that my vagina/vulva (didn't know the difference in those words back then) was magical so I'd make a wish when I masturbated. One time I wished to have a penis so I could pee standing up becasue I thought that would be cool for some reason. Then the next week I had my first period and I really thought that I was growning a penis inside me and that's why I was bleeding!!

Abby (still a girl by the way!! lol)

When I was 5 years old, my mother took me into a public bathroom in a hospital, and for the first time, I saw a tampon dispensor. I asked what my mom what a tampon was, and without wanting to get into details, she told me it was a piece of cloth women used to stop them from bleeding.
We exited the bathroom and began telling me about the operation she had on her sinus' and that she would have to go back to the hospital next week to change the gauze in her nose which was stopping all the blood.
Infront of all the medical staff and other patients, I (loudly) told her to save herself the trip and just stuff tampons up her nose, as that's what they were made for.

I couldn't figure out why everyone was laughing.

Jade