reproduction

This is pretty weird. Brace yourself! I'm a boy, and when i was little, I thought that girls privates were just like a tiny little hole in the front of the pubic area (right about where the penis is) that they peed out of. Anyway, I thought that when they peed, it had no pressure behind it, so it would just like dribble down the front and fall down which is why they had to pee sitting down. I thought that when you had sex, you just put your pee-pee in the girl and then peed in her (GROSS!!!!!!!!) and it would shoot up into her bladder and mix with her pee. I thought there was something about boy pee and girl pee mixing that made a baby (I thought girls pee was pink by the way). I wondered why there weren't thousands of little babies growing in the sewers. I figured the government must put a special chemical in the sewers to keep the boy pee and the girl pee from mixing. Thank God we had an anatomy book lying around that I read when I was 12 and it corrected a lot of things for me, otherwise, I'd probably be pretty warped these days. :P

mostly normal nick

I used to believe that getting pregnant was like inflating a beachball. The Husband inserts his member into the Wife, and while pumps, pumps, and pumps some more, her belly slowly rises. This continues for as long as necessary. They might pause for a break, with them rubbing the belly going, "You reckon that's big enough?". The Wife then carries around a full-size belly for 9 months, to give the baby enough room and time to develop.

SillyGirl

I used to believe that when a woman was pregnant, she fed the baby with a tiny spoon through her belly button.

Marie

I used to believe that some men went to prostitutes in order to have babies.

fluffy

It's not my belief, but once I made another kid believe he was a ghost.
My Mom taught me about sex, and I asked him if his parents ever had sex. He said no, and I told him he couldn't exist then, so he must be a ghost.
I was a deep kid :p

Anon

Until I had my first ejaculation, I just assumed that sperm swam out of the penis gradually throughout sex. When I had my first ejaculation I thought I was hideously ill! I thought I had cancer in my penis and some "cancer pus" had come out.

Anon

I was 4 years old at the time and got out of bed one night, looking for my mom and dad. I was too small to reach the light for the staircase, so I called out, "MOMMY?". In seconds, her and dad were sitting at the top of the stairs.

They must have thought I heard something, because I asked, "What are you doing?" My dad answered, "We were making babies".

I asked, "How do you make babies?"..and he said, "When you love someone very, very much...that's how babies are made"..and from there, my Mom and Dad asked me to come up and cuddle with them.

We all sat there at the top of the stairwell and the three of us cuddled for, what seemed like forever!!

Months later, when my mom was getting close to giving birth, my dad took me aside and said, "Remember the night when we cuddled on the stairs and loved each other sooo much?...well, because you, Mommy, and me...loved each other sooo very much...you're going to have a new little sister."

Nobody can even imagine the pride I felt, thinking that I had a part in loving my mom and dad sooo much that I'd get a new "little sister"!!

Anon

I used to believe that the people that designed "Congratulation" cards for new mothers all copied each other, or why would they ALWAYS draw a stork on it?

My parents had very considerably told me the real origin of babies, but had never explained the "alternate theories" about cabbage patches and storks!

Alan

I have a 2 yr old and am now pregnant with my second one. We talk about the baby all the time and I show him my belly and my son thinks he has one in his belly button too. But when we go to the store and people ask him where his new brother is, he always reaches up and grabs my breasts and tells them that's where the baby is! I have NO idea where he got that idea!!!

snufflekitty

my mom used to joke around about getting me at jcpennys...and well i believed it so when i was asked where i was born i used to say..."JCPENNYS!" i thought that u bought a little packet and made the baby like by sewing it

Anon

when i was a kid i used to think that when women had gotten pregnant they would get fat and then one day when they sat down to go to the bathroom the aby would fall out. i even thought that when somebabys got flushed they turned into turtles. i also couldent grasp the concept that only women got pregnant( i was only 5 gimme a break) so everytime i took a shit i would check just to make sure it wasnt a baby

BIGD

When I was about 7, I met a blonde woman who had a redheaded baby. After she left, I exclaimed to my mom that she must of stolen the baby. When my mom asked me why, I told her because the baby had red hair and the woman didn't. Therefore, in my mind there was no way that baby belonged to that woman. My mom tried to explain that children don't always have the same hair color as their parents. Which to an extent I believed because I was blonde and my mom a brunette but because redheads were so rare to me, I just "knew" that only two redheads could make a baby with red hair. I refused to believe otherwise.

Anon

From hearing vague descriptions of intercourse and the fact that there was an "egg" involved in reproduction, I somehow got the idea in my head that the "egg" emerged from the man's penis during intercourse. I would compare the size of eggs from the fridge with the circumference of my own youthful member and feel a genuine sense of dread about what I assumed would be an intensely painful process.

Anon

I used to believe that the only way parents could have babies was if they got married. It had something to do with putting on the ring.

But even funnier than that is that my sister thought babies were present at the wedding.

Lincoln

When i was little, I asked my grandpa how my parents had me, and he replied by telling me that I was an egg and my mom and dad found me behind a bush and hatched me.

Anon

I used to believe that women's eggs "broke" when a man layed on top of her and that's what sex was all about. Squishing the egg open and getting the baby juice in haha

Dom

i used to believe that when your mother was pregnant, you were in her stomach, and in order to feed you when you were in there, you just ate whatever came down. i had this really vivid picture of my mum eating oranges and a foetal me gobbling up all the segments.

andy

Up until I was about 11 years old I didn't understand how sexual intercourse was performed. I used to think you just laid in bed and kissed and you would get pregnant because that's all I saw on T.V.

T-will

My mom has 2 brothers and a sister, and since I knew they came from my grandmother, I always thought that when my grandmother was pregnant, the 4 of them were adults, sitting inside her, and playing cards, waiting to be born.

Shalini

I used to think that if you had a baby and wanted it to be the opposite sex -- e.g., if you gave birth to a boy and had wanted a girl -- you could just have a sex change operation performed on it and, voila! It's a girl!

Melissa