reproduction

When my parents explained sex to me I was pretty young, around 7. I understood how the parts met but never understood the rest. Though young I was very scientific and just could not figure it out. Finally in the car with my mom at a red light, she noticed that I really looked like I had to pee. She asked me if I had to go and I shook my head yes.
She pulled off at a gas station and I refused to get out and go. Finally I told her that I did not want to pee because I would be killing my tadpoles. Upon further questioning she realized that I thought I had to pee in a girl to get my "tadpoles" to seek out her egg. The shear thought of flushing my "tadpoles" down the toilet when I peed horrified me. Today I have a bladder of steal, wonder why?

The best part of the story is that I had apparently relayed the tadpole "Theory" to my playmate Mark(son of my mom's best friend). For days he had a coke bottle on his window sill. He told his mother that he had a tadpole in it.This was nothing unusual so she took his word for it. The water in the bottle became cloudy and stunk up his whole room. This prompted his mother to find the bottle full of old pee :)

~Robert Sean Gibson

~robert Sean Gibson

i used to beleive that the gender of a baby was determined by how long it stayed inside the mother's womb. in my head, if a girl had stayed in longer, her clitoris would have grown out and she would be a he.

julia

When I was young and wondering about 'the birds and the bees' I asked my mum how babies were made. She told me the truth, unlike any other mum: An egg and a sperm. I had no idea what this sperm thing was or where it came from, but i did my level best to stop anyone frying or boiling or eating eggs for a while after, claiming "you're destroying potential babies!"

Chinky Lil

i used to believe that if you wanted to have a baby, you could choose any person you wanted to have it with, and all you had to do is go to the market where they'd have jars of sperm from differ people and buy it and drink it. I remember thinking that i was going to buy J.T.T's sperm when i was older (J.T.T is Jonathan Taylor Thomas...yes i know)

Maimouna

when I asked where I came from, she said she took me home from a hospital. so i used to think every hospitals "provided" babies for mothers-wanna-be.

oiman

I used to believe that a seed came out every time I passed urine and that when the time came I would have to save it, plant it and it would grow into a baby - that would certainly save the pain of childbirth wouldn't it!

Anon

When I was a 4 year ol lad (boy) .I remember I was in the frontroom and I was watching some health channel and some lady was givin birth. I was staring at it and saw her screaming.

Well later I was in bed and I just remember crying real loud and my mum came in. There were tears in my eyes and I was screaming "I DONT WANNA HAVE A BABY! I DONT WANT A BABY!" and my mom was trying to comfort me, but I just kept screaming.

Mike

I used to believe that my Mum laid an egg and Dad sat on it...and it hatched and I came out...pretty silly, huh?

-Embarrased-

Not my moment, but a boy at my school. He joined us from another school, aged 16. He let slip to a group of us that women have babies by taking a "birth pill": take the pill, and a baby soon follows. Incredibly, to me, both his parents were family doctors.

I took him to one side when we were alone and told him the truth. He really didn't believe me. I hope he asked at home...

Brian

When I was a child, I used to believe babies were born in cabbages. Once my mother brought a cabbage home and I was scared she would cut it and kill the baby, so I used a pen to try to dig a tiny hole in it to see the baby...
No need to say the cabbage was ruined.
I didn't get punished though, for my mother thought it was cute. But she did explain that babies were NOT born in cabbages... I remained doubtfull for a long time.

xd

To this day, I have no idea where this particular belief of mine came from, except that it was a sudden theory that came to me when I was sitting in the playground in 3rd grade. There was a girl whose older sister had told her what sex was and the girl was so excited that she knew a "secret," so she refused to tell any of us what it was.

So, of course, I was mystified and I sat in the playground for twenty minutes, trying to figure it out. Somehow I came to this conclusion:

Sex was when a man and a woman went to a restuarant and had a tea party, just the two of them. The girl would giggle a lot and the guy had to smile for one hour straight and then, when things went well, they got to drink very delicious tea. And then, -poof-, they'd look under the table and there'd be a small child there.

John T

I'm not sure if this is the right section,
but when i was a kid, my friend told me he is so smart because his mom swallowed a dictionary when she was pregnant. And he read the book in her stomach.
I got mad at my mom for not doing that, and i think it's her fault that i'm so stupid. Hehe

Mika

Until *way* after I was old enough to know better, I believed my own "common sense" theory about breast milk. I thought all women had a built-in supply of powdered milk in their nipples, and just produced hot water when they had children... Like a coffeemaker.

Holly

i thought that when people had sex, if the sperm went up one fallopian tube it would be a male, and if it went up the other it would be a female

Shorty

I used to believe that babies were attached to the umbilicle cord and then stuffed down the throat grow.

anonomous

When I was a just about ten I heard about erections (and sex is general) from a sex education class in school, from what I heard I though that the penis would stick straight DOWN when aroused. I was seriously concerned about this because I simply could not figure out how reproduction could be accomplished unless the woman was standing on her head.

I think that ten is too young for sex ed.

Anon

When i was little I used to believe that if your mummy and daddy got naked in the bathtub together, they wouldn't have human babies, but instead they'd have baby ducks.

Anon

When I was four my mother had an ectopic pregnancy. My parents were explaining to me what was going on and they told me that, "The baby is stuck in the tube leading to where the baby is supposed to grow." Well, savvy little 4-year-old that I was, I knew darn well that babies grew in the tummy. I further knew that the esophagus (although I likely didn't know the word) was the tube that lead to the tummy. For years I thought the baby had been lodged in my mother's throat.

Zach

When I was three or four years old and my mother was pregnant with my kid brother, I kept asking my mom if she was going to give birth to a kitty or a puppy.

While I understood the principle of pregnancy, I was convinced moms gave birth to everything, from birds to horsies.

Lewisgmb

I guess my mother had a sense of humor, or maybe she was just a cruel woman with nothing better to do but to torture her first born. In any event, she told me when I was a kid that one day, she was picking her nose, and saw something moving in her booger. She decided for some reason to take care of it, and that moving thing turned out to be me. Imagine believing throughout your childhood that you were nothing but a booger child. I don't know why it didn't occur to me to inspect every booger I ever picked, but thank god I never did that!

Anon