reproduction

You know when women go in to have the ultrasound? Where you can see the baby on the television screen? I used to think they were checking for weasels.

Reid

There comes a time in every childs' life where they ask,
"Where do babies come from?"
When I asked this to my mother, she told me that babies come from from their mommy's tummy, where they get all the food and nutrience that they needed to grow. So here's what I saw in my mind's eye:
A woman with a large bulge in her stomach. In that bulge there was a baby (fully clothed) standing up and kicking at the sides of the mother's 'tummy'. Like a robot, the mother eats her dinner. The food falls from her throat and rains onto the baby with no signs of being chewed up. From there the baby eats it.
You must understand that I didn't know how the digestive system worked then either. To me it was PERFECTLY logical to have food raining onto an unborn child.

Marshmello Da Strawberry Cow

When my mom was pregnant with one of my little sisters (I was 7), she got me books on baby development and birth because I was so curious about it all. I became quite the expert on how things worked. There was one thing I didn't understand, though:
"Mom, how does the sperm get from the man into the woman?"
"It happens when they're very close together," she said.
For years, I'd see couples sitting close together and try to see sperm flying through the air between them.

Annie

I was always told that a baby comes from people sleeping together. When our pet dog became pregant I was really afraid that the puppies would be born with my face. After all I "slept" (as in ..zzzz) with our dog many times.

Anon

When I was young my mom conscientiously offered to teach me about sex and the difference between boys and girls. She said that we could look at pictures if it would make explaining things easier. She meant in a medical book. I thought she meant pictures of her and my dad having sex. Needless to say, I was terrified and said no.

Dan

I remember when I was 6, I used to believe that boys had vaginas too. I didn't know what a penis was.
This one time, my family went to the beach, and we had to stop halfway there so my brother could go to the bathroom, but he had to go bad and wouldnt make it to the the nearest restroom in time, so he had to go in the woods.
I decided I had to go too, so my mom said to go in a bush. I didn't want to go to the bathroom alone, so I went next to my brother.
I saw his penis and totally freaked out. I said, "Theres an alien on you!"
He freaked out too and was like, "Where? Where?"
And I said, "There!" Pointing to his penis.
He takes one look and says, "What are you talking about? This is pee pee."
And I'm like, "YOU'RE FRIENDS WITH IT?????!!!!!!"
I told mom he was hiding an alien in his pants and they laughed at me the whole way to the the beach!!!!

Very embarrassed girl...........

When I was young, I thought that every girl was born with a tiny baby in her, and through your whole life it would grow, until you were about 25 and it'd be big enough to have

Scary Dream

I was a very strange child, and to top it off, my family is catholic. I have 5 older brothers, but I did however, figure out what they were doing in the shower. I also knew that when a girl has her period the egg fell out. I put two and two together and figured out that the sperm and the eggs would live in the drains and if they liked eachother, would hook up and make a drain-baby. This is where homeless people came from.

i -still- know what they do in the shower

I used to believe that boys, gave birth to boys and girls gave birth to girls. How i'm so wrong now.

Sarah

I used to believe that the number of children a man could father was indicated by the number of testicles he possessed. I was quite satisfied with my two future children.

Ben

I used to believe that all babies came from the Sears catalog. Till I was about 11.

indie2jo

I used to believe that my mom had me and that my dad had my little brother... (we are just a year apart - I was very young...) boys have boys and girls have girls...

Jolene

When I was about 10 or 11, I was so obsessed with having a pet other than a fish that one day I went into the fridge and took an egg. I microwaved it for about 10 seconds in the microwave, and then I wrapped it in a few socks and put it in a drawer (Clearly I thought the "warmth" from the hen is what made an egg hatch). I would fantasize all day about the egg hatching into a baby chick!

After a few days, I finally told my mom and she said "the egg can't hatch because it's not fertilized."

Then for some reason, I got this crazy idea in my head that if I put sperm on the egg, it would hatch into a human/chicken. The image of that human/chicken hatching still freaks me out...

Nate

When I was 5 my sister and I were sent to the neighbor's house for lunch. A while later, I saw the family doctor walking down our front walk, carrying his black bag, of course. (This was in the mid 1940s.) A short time after that, we were called back to our house, and presented with our brand new baby brother. So I knew FOR SURE that babies were brought in the doctor's black bag. I'd seen it with my own eyes.

Anon

My dad told me when I was really little that roosters simply "walked over" an egg in order to fertilize it. I was recently in a conversation with my boss at work and argued that this was true for at least ten minutes - before realizing that my dad had simply told me that in order to avoid giving me the sex talk! My boss still laughs at me over that one.

Ami

When I was 6 I asked my Nan how you made babies and so she bought me a book to save explaining. In it, it said that when a man gets excited 'he turns hard like stone'. It took me a good few years to realise it was just one part of the man and not the whole of him. I pictured all these sexually excited men stuck like statues!

Caz

Our school district taught Reproductive Health in sixth grade. I begged my older brother to tell me what he was learning in the class (I was in fourth grade). He told me that every month I would lay an egg and then I would have to go to the bathroom, crack the egg, and let it bleed into my underwear everyday for a week. And that if I didn’t do it, I would have a baby. I started crying and told my mom. Even after she gave me the proper info, I couldn’t eat eggs for years after that.

Amy

When I was four my mom was pregnant with my little sister. Strangly, I kept mixing up the word "pregnant" and "retarded." Once when I went with my mom to the doctor's office for a prenatal checkup I met two ladies who asked me why I was there. I replied that it was because my mom was retarded.

Lisa

I used to believe that when the egg was fertilized, it would become a baby in about a second, pop out of the mom's stomach, and fly around the room like a balloon. I have no idea where that last part comes from.

Daniel

Whenever we pester our mom about where we came from she would tell us either (a) she found us by a garbage can or (b) her favourite - we exploded from rocks.
Thanks, mom! At least it's more interesting than the stork story.

4-Strings