rude bits
Show most recent or highest rated first.page 4 of 66
< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 >
top belief!
I was a very sheltered child (as well as a late bloomer), and even though I had had a "growing and changing" class in fifth grade, I was somewhat clueless about my own body. So when my breasts started to form in middle school, it just happened to coincide with the health class discussions about breast cancer. I was mortified! I remember sitting in the back of the class and feeling like my world was ending. I thought I had breast cancer, even though I was only 12, because the description they gave was "lumps in the breasts." I did not realize, until a few months later when I finall broke down in tears and told my mother that I had breast cancer, that a woman's breasts are SUPPOSED to have tissue growing in them, because that's how they form... I had always thought that they just kind of expanded, like they were filled with air.
top belief!
I used to believe that 'Shagging' meant flopping around, after reading a book about a shaggy dog with floppy hair.
I was about 7 years old and i was watching a tv show called 'top of the pops' with my sister and the babysitter who was looking after us.
The man who was singing on it was wearing tight leather trousers and was dancing in a way that made his willy 'flop around'.
So i exclaimed "hey look his willy's shagging!"
my sister who is much older than me burst into fits of laughter along with the babysitter.
I sat there laughing with them because i thought they found it funny that his willy was 'flopping around' too.
later on that evening they told me what 'shagging' really meant.
:D
oops!
I should really learn when to shut up...
top belief!
When I was little my mom would refer to my penis as a "spout". Until one day in 4th grade when human anatomy was introduced to us, I stood up and proudly said, "It's not called a penis, it's called a spout!"
top belief!
When I was three, my mom was babysitting my cousins and I watched her change my youngest cousin's diaper. I had never seen a penis before and asked my mom what was between his legs.
A week later, my mom took me grocery shopping and I saw her put something in the cart that caught my eye.
"What's that," I asked.
"Peanuts," she said.
I was horrified and said, "YOU MEAN THEY SELL THEM IN A JAR?!?"
She had no clue what I meant and said, "of course they do silly. What are you talking about?"
I pointed to my crotch and whispered, "You know, peanuts!"
I use to believe that people of different ethnicities had different genitalia. So African American males differed from Asian Men or Caucasian women differed from Mexican woman, and etc.
top belief!
When my sister and I were young there was an elderly woman who watched us some times. She told us that if we touched our private areas than snakes would grow out of them and everyone would know that we had touch ourselves. She obviously was warning us about the "dangers" of masturbation, but we were too young to know what she was talking about. So my sister and I became scared to even wash down there just in case snakes grew out.
BAF
before i realized that there was such a thing as a transexual, and that i was one, i believed that i was supposed to have been born with a penis. i couldnt figure out why i didnt have one, but i was convinced that if i kept looking, i would find one. i was always looking for penis shaped things on the ground, or at yard sales, hoping to find a used one that could be glued or at least paper-clipped back on.
sir daniel lillywhite
When I was in kindergarten my sister who was in 3rd grade came home and told me that a kid was running around the class sticking his middle finger out. I didn't know what it meant. Later that day i was in the car with mom and sticking my middle finger out to all the other drivers! Mom was very uspset and told me what it means!
Amy
After discovering masturbation very early on, I found a blue, plush pillow that I would rub against my penis. I assumed that the pillow was full of drugs that made me feel good, that I was breaking the law, and that my penis would turn into a vagina if I didn't stop masturbating.
Mr. Blue Pillow.
top belief!
I had overheard a kid in school talking about naming his cat Boner and I had no idea that the word had anything to do with the male anatomy. I had assumed he named his cat after some famous motorcycle rider or wrestler and because I liked this kid I decided imitate him and name my new pet frog Boner. My mom gave me the weirdest look when I told it's name and I didn't find out why until 3 years later. It doesn't help that I had written Boner on the back of all of photos I have of my frogs.
Willow
top belief!
I didn't know the difference between a penis and testicles, but I'd heard of "balls," so I thought penises looked basically like a bunch of meatballs stuck together in a row. When I was eight, this came up in conversation with a male friend - I drew a picture for him and he laughed hysterically and then drew me an accurate picture.
M.
top belief!
I'm not sure where I picked it up, but I used to believe that the word "ejaculation" was just another term for a coughing/sneezing fit, or shivering.
So one day in grade three I burst out hacking and the young female teachers goes "Liam, are you okay?"
and I said "Don't worry, I'm just ejaculating."
Another time it was extremely cold in my room so I went downstairs and said, "Mom, could you turn the heat on? It's so cold in my room that I started ejaculating."
God.
Liam
When I was very little I would occasionally shower with my mum. I figured out quickly that she didn't have a penis, but couldn't quite figure out what was in its place. Her labia didn't close the whole way, however, and I was absolutely convinced that what I was seeing between them was her poop as it made its way to her bottom.
top belief!
When I was young when I daydreamed about kissing boys my clitoris would pulse.
I always thought that clenching my teeth together would solve the problem.
top belief!
Up until I was about 13 years old, whenever I heard the phrase "busting a nut", as in ejaculating, I thought that the man literally squeezed his testicle until it burst open.
So I didnt understand how a man could do it more than twice in his life, considering he only has two testicles.
I didnt even comprehend the pain this scenario would cause.
Rachel
Well, about two years ago, i touched my clitoris, but i didnt know what it was at the time. I started freaking out because i thought it was cancer haha. i finally looked online and figured it out.
top belief!
When I was in year 5, one of the girls in my class convinced us all that masturbation was when you squeezed your boobs and milk came out.
Beth
top belief!
i was in some public toilets and my sister was in the one next to me with my mum (she was only 2). she then shouted at the top of her voice "Mummy there's a squirell on your bottom"! i couldn't stop laughing.
Anon
top belief!
In the fourth grade, my girl friend and I (I'm also a girl) had an argument over which hole the baby came out of.
At the time neither of had a very good understanding of our own anatomy.
I didn't know I had a vagina because I couldn't see it, I thought you peed out of your clit, I knew it wasn't called a penis, so I just called it my pee thing. So I figured the baby came out your butt hole since one can't fit out a tiny little pee hole.
My friend was aware she had a vagina, and she referred to it as a "pee hole" since neither of us were even aware of the word "vagina". So she said that the baby came out your pee hole (she was talking about a vagina, but I thought she was talking about a clit)
So we argued about it for the longest time until I learned I had a vagina thanks to a book about "girls growing up"
but I still thought you pee'd from your clit.
It wasn't until much later that we realized there is actually a little hole between the clit and the vagina where the pee comes from. Turns out we were both wrong about something.
Sam
top belief!
I'm a girl, and when I was little, I used to think that I would one day grow a penis. I figured this because once I saw my dad naked, and knew that guys have penises, and not too much later I saw my grandmother naked. Both of them were awfully hairy between their legs, and I knew it wasn't right to look at naked people so I didn't get a good look, I just figured she had a penis too. So i just figured that since they both looked a lot alike, and that a full grown man has a penis, that my clit would get bigger and turn into a penis one day. I couldn't wait to be a grown up and have a penis.
Sam
I Used To Believe™ © 2002 - 2024 Mat Connolley, another Iteracy website. privacy policy