rude bits

when i was 3 years old girl, once opened the bathroom while my dad was taking a shower, i was so frightened, and told everyone that my mother married an animal, my dad is an animal since he has a tail! hoh :))

shiloon

when i was little, i asked my mom if i would have "big muscles" when i grew up, like barbie did on her chest.

oh, dear.

Anon

When I was little, my older neighbor and his friend were talking, and I heard them say something about watching porn. I figured porn was another word for movie, and therefore wanted to watch one. I went up to my mother, put on my "Big Girl Face" and proudly told her that I wanted to watch a porn with her.

Julia

When i was little, i used to look at my brother naked and then look at my bits and wonder when i was going to grow my penis. I honestly thought i had to grow mine and that my brother just got his earlier than me.

Emma

I remember being in 5th grade and watching my first "informative" video about puberty. They demonstrated via cartoons what happened when a girl got her period and also what happened when a boy orgasmed [for some reason...I'm guessing they went on to talk about how babies were made but I had probably shut down with embarrassment by then].

Anyway, I had just gotten my period and hated it, so when the narrator was talking about how stuff "ejaculated" from the boys penis, I clearly remember thinking "HA! At least they have to go through something, too!"... as in something unenjoyable and that they didn't enjoy.

They belief continued till I was in 8th grade and foolishly clicked a porn link that was in my inbox. That's when I discovered that they enjoyed it A LOT and "jerking off" a guy was not the cruel practice I had imagined.

Oh, how very young and mistaken I was.

Idiot girl in the back row of Sex Ed.

I used to think that "testicles" was the word for intestines. so I was watching The Simpsons one day with my mother when Bart was on steroids and he said his testicles didn't fit in his underwear and I asked how he got his testicles in his underwear.

Jane

when i was a little girl - about 5 - my 8 year old sister was kind of explaining body parts to me and she called the clitoris a Giblet.
when my mom told me she was removing the giblets out of a chicken, when i was about 12, i was horrified and wouldnt speak to her for weeks. i think i then officially hated my sister, lol.

lucy

I thought Viagra was an allergy medication. When I mentioned this to my dad, he laughed. I then asked the question he was dreading. "Well, what is it then?"
He said, briefly, "It's for men who's penises aren't straight."
So for a few months, I imagined boomerang-shaped penises!

Katherine

when I was younger, I overheard my friends talking about a girl they knew. They were disgusted, and said that she played with herself. Being an only child, and thinking they meant, playing by herself, with stuffed animals, or something, I said, I do too, what's the big deal?

Anon

Well this isn't mine, but its my brothers. He's ten and I've been his guardian for two years, I guess I need to pay a little closer attention to him. Last year his teacher gave her email address to the class if they needed help with homework or something I guess. My brother decided at Halloween he'd send her an e-card, well guess what it was. It apparently it had a picture of a vampire and said "I want to suck your clit". Yeah, she called me about it and luckily wasn't really mad, I think concerned was the word she used. Anyway, I actually thought it was kinda funny but had to have a talk with him about it. I asked him if he knew what a clit was. He said yes. God, I thought, I seriously don't want to have this kind of talk with him. I asked him what it was. With all sincerity he said it was the skin on your elbow and pulled on his to show me. I guess some kid at school must have told him that, I didn't ask anymore questions I just told him not to do anything like that again. What makes me wonder more is, why the hell he wants to suck his teachers elbow or even suggest that? He mentioned he sent a card out to Joel, his best friend, too and who knows what that one said.

Liz and Ryan

I thought that a vagina was called a "Suzie." I remember watching Rugrats and giggling to myself at Nickelodeon's dirty jokes.

Anon

My friend, who is a boy, told me that when you have a physical for a sport, they have to grab your sex organs and squeeze them. For the longest time, I thought they'd grab my vagina and boobs. I was scared of male doctors for a while after that. :[

Anon

I used to believe, until I was about 13, that a guys 'nuts' were like actual nuts (similar to walnuts or something)... hard brown brittle things that weren't really connected to the guys body, just hanging loose. It made perfect sense to me, because I figured that the reason guys went into so much pain if you hit them 'there', is because the nuts could 'crack open'.

Even seeing biology textbooks at secondary school didn't change my view, because they just showed the balls as pale brown round circles in cross-section diagrams!

Even now, in the back of my mind, I still think of guys having brittle walnut-like things...

Malorie Jempson

For some unknown reason I used to think that you could shoot people with your penis, like a laser. We were in 3rd grade at the time and me and my friend were play fighting and 'shooting' each other with 'guns', so I said to him, "Lets shoot each other with our willies!" I remember him looking very confused. I wonder why!

Zap Man

When I was a little girl I was coming home from the beach. Of course I only knew what a girls part looked like at the time. I was outside of my cousins house with my grandma who was helping me hose the sand off of my feet. I stood there as my feet were getting hosed off and all of a sudden my cousin pops out of the house butt naked (mind you were both little tots). I screamed "MOMMY, GRANDMA WHY DOES HE HAVE A STICK STICKING OUT OF HIM!!!!"

Anon

When I was little I held the adament beliefe that girls only became girls when their willies dropped off.

My mum brings it up to this day.

Anon

I used to think that everyone's genitals looked entirely different.
I would imagine all kinds of weird shapes going on down there for different children.
I believed this until my preschool friend left the door open when she was using the bathroom- I exclaimed, "She has a pee-pee just like mine!"

Anon

Well my mom always referred to a vagina as 'tuttel'. I always thought everyone knew that you could also say 'tuttel' when referring to a womans genital parts, since you have lots of words that refer to it.

When I was about 14 there were a new sort stuffed animals, which were called; Tuttels. I was disgusted, why would someone make something innocent like stuffed animals such a grose thing.

Whoops

I thought that the word "ejaculate" meant to laugh hard/think something was really funny. So when my former stepmom, dad, and step siblings were with me when I was about 9, someone said some kind of joke, and I cracked up and yelled "I'm ejaculating!" quite loudly. I got a few very odd looks. I'm still embarrassed to think about it.

Anon

I used to believe that when a man got an erection it would stick straight out about a foot long and be as hard as metal. So I was always extremely confused when guys in movies with erections had a lump in their pants. I logically assumed that an actual erection was only shown in NC-17 movies and that these were just how hard-ons were represented in movies XD

A clueless 14 year old girl