general

I used to believe that their were little monsters living in the toilet but they only came out when the lid was down. Whenever i wanted to take a shower or bath i opened up the toilet seat before i got in the tub so they would go away and not see me naked through the cracks!

Anon

I've lived in block of flats whole my life. When I was child, I believed that when you flush the water with urines, it goes down to flush in the flat below yours, when they use it to flush the urine with which the water goes another one floor down, and so on till the ground floor, when it flowns off the house. I didn't even think where could feces go according to my theory...

Jurkin Park

Up until I was around 8 or 9 I sed to think that there were little men in the sewers that sould sift through your waste and try to find valueable things. These little men would also eat your waste after they didnt find anything. Some of the little men oud use shovels to get it to the others >.< God I was stupid!

Anon

When I was in second grade, we had a substitute teacher who wanted to take everyone to that room where we could relieve our bodily functions. I thought she told us that she was going to take us to the laboratory, not the lavatory. To this day, I have nightmares of going to a laboratory to take a pee.

Steve W.

I used to think that if you put a piece of paper or something like that in the toilet, someone else could receive the message when their toilet clogs.. So every time i used to the toilet, i would put a piece of paper with a message so someone can receive my gift.

However my mother was not the happiest person in the world when she found crumpled and wet papers in the toilet while unclogging it.

Emily

I used to think "public convenience" meant a convenience store!

Anon

About the time I was learning to read I was taken out to eat one night with parents and neighbors for the first time at a more "upscale" (not fast food) restaurant. Not really getting into the adults' conversation and not knowing what it was, I said I was tired and would like to go the restroom.

Anon

As a young child, I would always wonder where our...toilet waste would go when we flushed the toilet. I used to think that there would be this guy in a chair with a desk and there would be little pipes on the wall and all the poo and pee would go into little rubbermaid containers with labels.

Chalupa Taco

when i was in the 4th grade we went to an applebeas for my sisters birthday...there was a sign by the bathroom that said "toliets10cents" at first i thought it said tolly-its-10-cents. then my mom told me what it was...then i went to the bathroom came back and said "did you pay the toliet man 10 cents" XDDDD it was so funny! my mom cracked up.

AJ (short for adrienne)

I used to believe that when I peed, if I could fill up the entire toilet bowl with bubbles I was protecting my family for 1 more day from burglars. To this day, I'm VERY effective at making bubbles :)

Chris

When I was REALLY young and I went to the bathroom I would get lonely so I made up this little man named Mr. Pipes who lived inside the toilet paper holder. Every time I went to the bathroom I knocked on his "door" and while I was going to the bathroom he would keep me company. I used to think he looked like George Carlin!!! Mr. Pipes was so popular in my family, that when my little sister was born she would talk to himtoo LOL!!!!!!!!!

MIKE

I was frightend of the '9 o'clock hosses' till I knew what they were. They were the people who came round to empty the toilet bucket. At that time of the night.

David Oliver Cartwright

When my dad first told me about chemical toilets, I thought that the chemicals will dissolve the wee, poo and loo paper. How wrong I was as the only thing it dissolves is my sense of taste and smell.

H

I used to believe that when you flushed the toilet, a pipe would come out of the side of the house, dumping your waste in the garden.

Henry

I used to believe that the handicapped sign was where you went to the bathroom cause it looks like a person sitting on a toilet

Anon

I used to think that in the olden that children at school would go to the toilet on round circular benches, that they would just sit down on the bench and go, but I thought that was strange because the benches were flat!

Wastedgirl

my neighbour told me to keep the lid of the toilet down because at night time if it was up rats would come up the pipes from the sewer and into your house

Anon

When I was little I used to think that Bill Clinton (president at the time) was going to flush an alligator down the toilet and it would come up my toilet and bite me on the butt when I went to the bathroom. I was always afraid to sit all the way on the toilet and always kept checking to make sure no alligators were there.

Cristina

When I was seven, I overflowed the toilet and I ran to my dad crying hysterically cus I thought It would flood the whole earth and the world would come to an end.

Kiara

I believed basically everything my brother told me. Like, it was cool to stick a gummy bear in your nose. Well, that one failed when my dad had to take tweezers to my little nostril. Anyway, my brother also told me in order to get taller (and i was and am a short asian girl), when you're on the shitter, rest your upper body against your legs. Then push your body against your legs until they begin to shake and when they do, you're growing!

Anon