music: misheard lyrics

My dad used to sing the song "It's Raining, It's Pouring" to me when I was a kid. When he came to the part that goes "and he couldn't get up in the morning" I used to think he said "and he cooked it up in the morning". I had this scary mental picture of an old man bumping his head so hard that his head fell off, and then he cooked his OWN HEAD the next morning. Why, I don't know. I am laughing so hard right now while typing this that I have tears coming out of my eyes.

Rememer the cheesy 'Superman' song that was around in the late 80's? (Comb your hair, brush your teeth, now FLY! etc) Well I taught all my friends the dance with all the actions. Only I thought that 'Hitch a ride' was actually 'Hit your eyes' so I had all these kids at the school disco hitting themselves, and nobody knew why.

When we were little, my two sisters and I used to think that Kylie's "I should be so lucky", where it says "i should be so lucky, lucky lucky lucky", said..."asto pistolaki(leave the hairdryer) Laki Laki Laki(greek male name)"......

I used to believe…

That Cher song that goes, "I feel something inside that says". I have until this very day thought that she was singing, "I feel something inside this @$$".

Cher of the Sensitive Arse

In the song "I'm Not a Loser" by the Decendents, I thought the line "you just bought her a gram of coke" was actually "you just bought her grandma a coat" which isn't very punk at all.

I used to believe - well actually, somewhere inside I STILL believe - that in Michael Jackson's "Billy Jean", the refrain goes:

Billy Jean is not my lover
She's just a girl who says that I am the one
BUT THE CHAIR IS NOT MY SON!

Alright, so it doesn't make much sense, but I like it that way. And MJ should sing clearer.

My son, who's just turned nine (bless him!), chanted this out the other day:

"Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Stabilise! Stabilise!"

Put this to the tune of to the tune of the Bee Gees' 'Staying Alive' and you'll see where the confusion comes in!

When I was a kid, one of my favorite songs was "I'm in Love with My Car" by Queen. However, I was confused by the line, "get a grip on my boyracer rollbar," probably because I heard it as "catch a whiff of my boyish aroma."

My sister, while on a plane was singing bohemian rhapsody by Queen, she got to the bit where the sing 'Gallileo' loudly, except in her childhood innocence she thought it was Gonorrhoea, much tutting, strange looks and an embarresed mother ensued

When I was a young boy listening to the Beatles hit song, Ticket To Ride, I always thought they were singing, "She's got a chicken to ride". I used to sing that at the top of my lungs in my dad's car as he laughed, but he never told me the real words. I always wondered, what a huge chicken that must be, and how much fun that ride must have been!

I was listening to my daughter sing along with a song that included the line "and the memories go on and on" but she was singing "and your mammaries go on and on" which was really a lot funnier...

I, previously, was convinced that the song "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" by the Beatles was something totally different. I used to be a big fan of Charlie Brown (ha!) and thought it was "Lucy's in a fight with Linus". AM I AN IDIOT OR WHAT?? I thought this was funny because those characters do fight a lot. Go figure.

I loved the Elton John song "Tiny Dancer" when I was small. However, I was slightly confused as to why the man would be singing, "Hold me closer, Tony Danza... count the head lice on the highway...."

When I was a child, I heard the word "boughs" in "Deck The Halls With Boughs Of Holly" as "bowels" instead, and this was curious to me. At that time I'd never met anyone named Holly. Later, the first time I met a girl named Holly, I would associate her for the longest time with a vision of her decorating the halls at her house for Christmas with her poop.

I wondered all the time why Michael Jackson was singing "Beat it! Beat it! No one wants to see your penis!" I figured it must be a song about a guy confronting the neighbourhood streaker.

I had no good answer for Joni Mitchell's "gay pair of guys [who] put up a parking lot." My only thought was, "Okay, well, good for them."

My older sister and I are very close in age. When we were four and five, we were in a Taco Bell with our parents and our baby brother around Christmas Time. We were singing Christmas Carols...and got to "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer". Well, we got to the line where it goes, "santa came to say, rudolph with your nose so bright won't you guide my sleigh tonight" but we were convinced and sang at the top of our lungs in this packed Taco Bell "Rudolph with your nose so bright, won't you be my slave tonight?" Everyone stared at my parents wondering what kind of people they were to teach us those words and we never went back to that taco bell.